Cat bargaining
Jan. 16th, 2012 01:43 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
kippurbird.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
kippurcritiquesbadbooksChapter Four: King Cat
So this was the chapter that was originally released as a preview. The fact that it is so drastically altered - he's no longer hallucinating people. Which is a good thing. I can't seem to find the bit I did on the preview chapter and I'm too lazy to look for it. It's still ridiculous.
We begin with Eragon, Nasuada and Jormundur are in the throne room of the late lord Bradburn. Okay, perhaps not late, but currently disposed of to parts unknown. Nasuada is wearing a green and yellow dress having gotten out of her armor moments before. Also She too had been marked during the fighting, as was evidenced by the linen bandage wrapped around her left hand.
OH NOES SHE WAS INJURED IN THE BATTLE CLEARLY SHE MUST HAVE BEEN IN THE THICK OF IT!!! SHE HAS AN INJURY AND ITS NEEDED A BANDAGE!!! IT CLEARLY MUST IMPAIR HER IN SOMEWAY SINCE IT'S ON HER HAND.
Yeah.
Using the word marked generally doesn't indicate a large injury. Injured may have been a better word to be used. And even still, it still doesn't look like an injury that must be remarked upon like it's been some GREAT BIG HINDRANCE.
Apparently the were cats were unexpected and Nasuada wonders what they can do to gain their support. Jörmundur says that they're nearly broke. GEE. MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN KATRINA AND RORAN ALL THAT GOLD AND JEWELS FOR THEIR WEDDING MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME MORE.
GEEE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU MIGHT BE BROKE.
Idiots.
My cat can manage money better than you can and he just kicks it off the dresser. Irritating... but true.
Eragon suggests giving them cream. Because that's not at all condescending. Clearly since they're cats they all must want cream.
Three trumpets sound and I like how they've been able to set up court so quickly inside of the late Lord Bradburn's keep. The Varden's Standard is a white dragon holding a rose above a sword pointed down on a purple field. It feels like this is their own court room, no mention is made beyond the fact that Bradburn used to live here. It's forgotten beyond description. It's no longer important. Now we must deal with the king of the Were cats: His Most Exalted Royal Highness, Grimrr Halfpaw, King of the Werecats, Lord of the Lonely Places, Ruler of the Night Reaches, and He Who Walks Alone.
... I want to be Lord of The Space Behind Doors, Ruler of Hazy Afternoon Sunshine On LA Freeways, He Who Stops To Pet All the Dogs. This is my new name now: His Most Exceptionally Exalted Super Royal Highness, Kippur the Bird, King of all the Pigeons, Lord of The Space Behind Doors, Ruler of Hazy Afternoon Sunshine On LA Freeways, He Who Stops To Pet All the Dogs.
Out of all these titles, by the way, it's the "He Who Walks Alone" that Saphira pegs as strange. And then says that it must be well deserved. Why? We haven't seen ANYTHING about this king that indicates that he's someone who walks alone, beyond being a cat. Which is default for all cats really. Even when they're together, they're still walking alone, it just HAPPENS to be that there's someone else who HAPPENS to be going in the same direction as they are. But they're not together. They're totally alone.
And then there's this passage again:
This is ... a very long, semi-sexual description, sort of like yea old male gaze. The noticing of the hips, the delicacy of his features, the no doubt that Grimrr was male (Why? Did he take a peek under the loincloth to make sure?) Oh god he took a peek under the loincloth. I knew it. How else could he definitely prove without a doubt that Grimmr was a male?
Um.
ah..hah...
SO! That rabbit skinned loincloth that Eragon looked under at some point, I don't know if you can tell it's made out of rabbits, beyond the fact that we're told it's made out of rabbits. I think you would need to get a good close look at it to know. I have a dragon puppet with fur on it and someone who was allergic to rabbit fur but interested in getting one of the puppets. So she wanted to know if the fur was made from rabbits. I told her I didn't know. She had to come up and pet the fur and sniff it to see if she could tell...
...Oh dear. I think I'm getting more and more proof that Eragon did look under Grimrr's loincloth.
I'm just saying, you know?
Does this also make him into furries?
Just... wondering.
OR it just could be that Paolini is saying "I need to describe Grimrr" and has forgotten that Eragon is not right up against him, exploring every bit of the werecat's flesh and body, inspecting what lies beneath his clothing and stroking it to see what he's made of...
I should stop now.
Paolini has forgotten that he's in 3rd person limited and keeps on dropping into 3rd person omniscient to give us details that only an omniscient narrator would know. If he had said something like "possibly made out of rabbit fur" which would give doubt to what Eragon knows and what he's guessing about Grimrr. Because narrow hips and sinewy muscles in the arm and chest and coiled power of his walk doesn't necessarily mean that you're male.
I wonder if werecats have multiple mammary glands...
What?!
This is a legitimate curiosity! Grimmr is wearing a vest so it's hard to know.
When he gets to Angela he bares his curved fangs at her. I checked my cat. He doesn't have curved fangs. At least they're not noticeably curved. When I think of curved fangs, I think of something like a snake's fangs. Also it's a really odd detail to pick up... and Eragon would have had to been pretty close to tell that they were curved wouldn't he? I mean he could tell they were fangs, but not really curved from afar.
SHUTUP.
Just SHUTUP.
*sulks*
Angela "cheep cheep"s at him causing him to get all pissy.
He arrives at the throne and He inclined his head ever so slightly, displaying with his bearing the supreme confidence, even arrogance, that was the sole province of cats, dragons, and certain highborn women.
That's just insulting. I totally go with the cats and dragons, but why are women the only ones who are supremely confident and arrogant? Does that make Eragon a woman? Because he's supremely confident and arrogant and being a dragon rider does make him a sort of noble, also his parents were apparently highborn.
Actually this kind of goes back to my theory of Eragon having gender identity issues that I came up with around book two and three using meat as a metaphor for masculinity and vegetarianism as a metaphor for femininity. After all, all the men - human males - that we've encountered and they're manly hairy males etc. eat meat. And LOTS of it. Meanwhile the elves who are 'feminine' looking are vegeitarians (hairless groin scene anyone?). In book two he becomes more elf like and takes on their attributes, even going through a sort of sex change through the magic dragon ceremony that heals him of his ailments and makes him a better person. He doesn't recognize himself in the mirror and people treat him as an elf, something that he wanted to become, because they're his ideal form.
In book three however, he slowly returns to eating meat, at first he does it to fit into society. He doesn't want to insult his hosts - the dwarves- but then he decides that maybe it's okay to do it sometimes. Eventually he tries to go back all the way to eating meat, however he can't get rid of the transformation so he's almost pretending that he is a man.
The fact that he only feels that women can be that arrogant and not men seems to indicate a disconnect to what men are and how they act.
I'm sure I could further this thesis even more but I don't think this is the right place for it.
Grimrr says that he wishes to suddenly join in the conflict against Galbatorix because of Eragon. Apparently they were oppressed by Galbatorix even if they were all scattered about the world with no society of their own really and considered to be mostly myth and legend.
He says the fact that Galbatorix doesn't want or try to kill Eragon and Saphira is a sign of weakness and so that means that he's weak enough to attack. Because if a wolf refuses to attack another wolf automatically means that it's vulnerable to other predators. And sure Galbatorix may not have attacked Eragon directly, but he has attacked him -see the Ra'zac, the kidnapping of Katrina, the sending of Thorn and Murtagh against him. It just hasn't been directly. We also know that Galbatorix doesn't want to kill Saphira because she is likely the ONLY FEMALE DRAGON LEFT ALIVE. IF YOU KILL HER THEN YOU'RE REALLY DOOMING THE SPECIES.
What he would like, I'm assuming, if I were him, is to breed Saphira to his dragon and produce eggs and dragons that he then could control. He's not stupid. At least, he seems to be one of the smarter people in this book. Even if we haven't seen him at all.
But apparently now is the time for all the races to stand together and prove that Galbatorix has not broken their will, etc. It just took them a hundred years to get around to it.
Eragon is impressed by the werecat's speech. But Eragon is easily impressed.
The King speaks for all the werecats and that all able bodied cats were there. Honestly, I wonder about the communication networks they have. And if they have teleporters or not. Because gather up all the ... because herding cats (sorry) is not an easy job.
(I always liked this commercial.)
Nasuada says that they could offer them cream - which is again sort of insulting and condescending. You could just ask what they require instead of assuming you know what they'd want.
Grimrr says that they don't want that. Instead:
This food thing really bothers me. Especially since Nasuada agrees to it readily. She doesn't say "that would be a waste of food" or "how many warriors have you brought? I don't know if we could feed them all that". I mean they have to make sure they have enough food for their own army and now they're going to possibly throw away food like that? Of course they're having problems with money! They're wasting it!
Nasuada says that the cat bargains like a dwarf, but they didn't bargain at all! They said "this is what we want". Nasuada says, "well... okay then, but not two suits of armor."
There's no bargaining here. There's not the back and forth of "Give me this" "No, how about this" "No, but I'll take this instead." It's just the cat gives his demands and they say yes.
Bah. If you're going to engage in diplomacy and bargaining, at least make them work for it.
Finally Nasuada says okay but you have to let us read your minds first to make sure you're not working with Galby. You know, sometimes I wonder why he didn't just make a sleeper agent where they have no memory of it and can't be sensed by a scan. That would have been awesome.
But no, that's not going to happened and it is sad. Ah well.
Everything is agreed upon and they all cheer. Yay!
Wow. That went on a lot longer than I thought it would.
So this was the chapter that was originally released as a preview. The fact that it is so drastically altered - he's no longer hallucinating people. Which is a good thing. I can't seem to find the bit I did on the preview chapter and I'm too lazy to look for it. It's still ridiculous.
We begin with Eragon, Nasuada and Jormundur are in the throne room of the late lord Bradburn. Okay, perhaps not late, but currently disposed of to parts unknown. Nasuada is wearing a green and yellow dress having gotten out of her armor moments before. Also She too had been marked during the fighting, as was evidenced by the linen bandage wrapped around her left hand.
OH NOES SHE WAS INJURED IN THE BATTLE CLEARLY SHE MUST HAVE BEEN IN THE THICK OF IT!!! SHE HAS AN INJURY AND ITS NEEDED A BANDAGE!!! IT CLEARLY MUST IMPAIR HER IN SOMEWAY SINCE IT'S ON HER HAND.
Yeah.
Using the word marked generally doesn't indicate a large injury. Injured may have been a better word to be used. And even still, it still doesn't look like an injury that must be remarked upon like it's been some GREAT BIG HINDRANCE.
Apparently the were cats were unexpected and Nasuada wonders what they can do to gain their support. Jörmundur says that they're nearly broke. GEE. MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN KATRINA AND RORAN ALL THAT GOLD AND JEWELS FOR THEIR WEDDING MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME MORE.
GEEE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU MIGHT BE BROKE.
Idiots.
My cat can manage money better than you can and he just kicks it off the dresser. Irritating... but true.
Eragon suggests giving them cream. Because that's not at all condescending. Clearly since they're cats they all must want cream.
Three trumpets sound and I like how they've been able to set up court so quickly inside of the late Lord Bradburn's keep. The Varden's Standard is a white dragon holding a rose above a sword pointed down on a purple field. It feels like this is their own court room, no mention is made beyond the fact that Bradburn used to live here. It's forgotten beyond description. It's no longer important. Now we must deal with the king of the Were cats: His Most Exalted Royal Highness, Grimrr Halfpaw, King of the Werecats, Lord of the Lonely Places, Ruler of the Night Reaches, and He Who Walks Alone.
... I want to be Lord of The Space Behind Doors, Ruler of Hazy Afternoon Sunshine On LA Freeways, He Who Stops To Pet All the Dogs. This is my new name now: His Most Exceptionally Exalted Super Royal Highness, Kippur the Bird, King of all the Pigeons, Lord of The Space Behind Doors, Ruler of Hazy Afternoon Sunshine On LA Freeways, He Who Stops To Pet All the Dogs.
Out of all these titles, by the way, it's the "He Who Walks Alone" that Saphira pegs as strange. And then says that it must be well deserved. Why? We haven't seen ANYTHING about this king that indicates that he's someone who walks alone, beyond being a cat. Which is default for all cats really. Even when they're together, they're still walking alone, it just HAPPENS to be that there's someone else who HAPPENS to be going in the same direction as they are. But they're not together. They're totally alone.
And then there's this passage again:
The page stepped aside, and through the doorway strode Grimrr Halfpaw in the shape of a human, trailed by four other werecats, who padded close behind him on large, shaggy paws. The four resembled Solembum, the one other werecat Eragon had seen in the guise of an animal: heavy-shouldered and long-limbed, with short, dark ruffs upon their necks and withers; tasseled ears; and black-tipped tails, which they waved gracefully from side to side.
Grimrr Halfpaw, however, looked unlike any person or creature Eragon had ever seen. At roughly four feet tall, he was the same height as a dwarf, but no one could have mistaken him for a dwarf, or even for a human. He had a small pointed chin, wide cheekbones, and, underneath upswept brows, slanted green eyes fringed with winglike eyelashes. His ragged black hair hung low over his forehead, while on the sides and back it fell to his shoulders, where it lay smooth and lustrous, much like the manes of his companions. His age was impossible for Eragon to guess.
The only clothes Grimrr wore were a rough leather vest and a rabbit-skin loincloth. The skulls of a dozen or so animals—birds, mice, and other small game—were tied to the front of the vest, and they rattled against one another as he moved. A sheathed dagger protruded at an angle from under the belt of his loincloth. Numerous scars, thin and white, marked his nut-brown skin, like scratches on a well-used table. And, as his name indicated, he was missing two fingers on his left hand; they looked to have been bitten off.
Despite the delicacy of his features, there was no doubt that Grimrr was male, given the hard, sinewy muscles of his arms and chest, the narrowness of his hips, and the coiled power of his stride as he sauntered down the length of the hall toward Nasuada.
This is ... a very long, semi-sexual description, sort of like yea old male gaze. The noticing of the hips, the delicacy of his features, the no doubt that Grimrr was male (Why? Did he take a peek under the loincloth to make sure?) Oh god he took a peek under the loincloth. I knew it. How else could he definitely prove without a doubt that Grimmr was a male?
Um.
ah..hah...
SO! That rabbit skinned loincloth that Eragon looked under at some point, I don't know if you can tell it's made out of rabbits, beyond the fact that we're told it's made out of rabbits. I think you would need to get a good close look at it to know. I have a dragon puppet with fur on it and someone who was allergic to rabbit fur but interested in getting one of the puppets. So she wanted to know if the fur was made from rabbits. I told her I didn't know. She had to come up and pet the fur and sniff it to see if she could tell...
...Oh dear. I think I'm getting more and more proof that Eragon did look under Grimrr's loincloth.
I'm just saying, you know?
Does this also make him into furries?
Just... wondering.
OR it just could be that Paolini is saying "I need to describe Grimrr" and has forgotten that Eragon is not right up against him, exploring every bit of the werecat's flesh and body, inspecting what lies beneath his clothing and stroking it to see what he's made of...
I should stop now.
Paolini has forgotten that he's in 3rd person limited and keeps on dropping into 3rd person omniscient to give us details that only an omniscient narrator would know. If he had said something like "possibly made out of rabbit fur" which would give doubt to what Eragon knows and what he's guessing about Grimrr. Because narrow hips and sinewy muscles in the arm and chest and coiled power of his walk doesn't necessarily mean that you're male.
I wonder if werecats have multiple mammary glands...
What?!
This is a legitimate curiosity! Grimmr is wearing a vest so it's hard to know.
When he gets to Angela he bares his curved fangs at her. I checked my cat. He doesn't have curved fangs. At least they're not noticeably curved. When I think of curved fangs, I think of something like a snake's fangs. Also it's a really odd detail to pick up... and Eragon would have had to been pretty close to tell that they were curved wouldn't he? I mean he could tell they were fangs, but not really curved from afar.
SHUTUP.
Just SHUTUP.
*sulks*
Angela "cheep cheep"s at him causing him to get all pissy.
He arrives at the throne and He inclined his head ever so slightly, displaying with his bearing the supreme confidence, even arrogance, that was the sole province of cats, dragons, and certain highborn women.
That's just insulting. I totally go with the cats and dragons, but why are women the only ones who are supremely confident and arrogant? Does that make Eragon a woman? Because he's supremely confident and arrogant and being a dragon rider does make him a sort of noble, also his parents were apparently highborn.
Actually this kind of goes back to my theory of Eragon having gender identity issues that I came up with around book two and three using meat as a metaphor for masculinity and vegetarianism as a metaphor for femininity. After all, all the men - human males - that we've encountered and they're manly hairy males etc. eat meat. And LOTS of it. Meanwhile the elves who are 'feminine' looking are vegeitarians (hairless groin scene anyone?). In book two he becomes more elf like and takes on their attributes, even going through a sort of sex change through the magic dragon ceremony that heals him of his ailments and makes him a better person. He doesn't recognize himself in the mirror and people treat him as an elf, something that he wanted to become, because they're his ideal form.
In book three however, he slowly returns to eating meat, at first he does it to fit into society. He doesn't want to insult his hosts - the dwarves- but then he decides that maybe it's okay to do it sometimes. Eventually he tries to go back all the way to eating meat, however he can't get rid of the transformation so he's almost pretending that he is a man.
The fact that he only feels that women can be that arrogant and not men seems to indicate a disconnect to what men are and how they act.
I'm sure I could further this thesis even more but I don't think this is the right place for it.
Grimrr says that he wishes to suddenly join in the conflict against Galbatorix because of Eragon. Apparently they were oppressed by Galbatorix even if they were all scattered about the world with no society of their own really and considered to be mostly myth and legend.
He says the fact that Galbatorix doesn't want or try to kill Eragon and Saphira is a sign of weakness and so that means that he's weak enough to attack. Because if a wolf refuses to attack another wolf automatically means that it's vulnerable to other predators. And sure Galbatorix may not have attacked Eragon directly, but he has attacked him -see the Ra'zac, the kidnapping of Katrina, the sending of Thorn and Murtagh against him. It just hasn't been directly. We also know that Galbatorix doesn't want to kill Saphira because she is likely the ONLY FEMALE DRAGON LEFT ALIVE. IF YOU KILL HER THEN YOU'RE REALLY DOOMING THE SPECIES.
What he would like, I'm assuming, if I were him, is to breed Saphira to his dragon and produce eggs and dragons that he then could control. He's not stupid. At least, he seems to be one of the smarter people in this book. Even if we haven't seen him at all.
But apparently now is the time for all the races to stand together and prove that Galbatorix has not broken their will, etc. It just took them a hundred years to get around to it.
Eragon is impressed by the werecat's speech. But Eragon is easily impressed.
The King speaks for all the werecats and that all able bodied cats were there. Honestly, I wonder about the communication networks they have. And if they have teleporters or not. Because gather up all the ... because herding cats (sorry) is not an easy job.
(I always liked this commercial.)
Nasuada says that they could offer them cream - which is again sort of insulting and condescending. You could just ask what they require instead of assuming you know what they'd want.
Grimrr says that they don't want that. Instead:
Our terms are thus: Each of us will be given a dagger to fight with, if we do not already have one. Each of us shall have two suits of armor made to fit, one for when on two legs we stand, and one for when on four. We need no other equipment than that—no tents, no blankets, no plates, no spoons. Each of us will be promised a single duck, grouse, chicken, or similar bird per day, and every second day, a bowl of freshly chopped liver. Even if we do not choose to eat it, the food will be set aside for us. Also, should you win this war, then whoever becomes your next king or queen—and all who claim that title thereafter—will keep a padded cushion next to their throne, in a place of honor, for one of us to sit on, if we so wish.”
This food thing really bothers me. Especially since Nasuada agrees to it readily. She doesn't say "that would be a waste of food" or "how many warriors have you brought? I don't know if we could feed them all that". I mean they have to make sure they have enough food for their own army and now they're going to possibly throw away food like that? Of course they're having problems with money! They're wasting it!
Nasuada says that the cat bargains like a dwarf, but they didn't bargain at all! They said "this is what we want". Nasuada says, "well... okay then, but not two suits of armor."
There's no bargaining here. There's not the back and forth of "Give me this" "No, how about this" "No, but I'll take this instead." It's just the cat gives his demands and they say yes.
Bah. If you're going to engage in diplomacy and bargaining, at least make them work for it.
Finally Nasuada says okay but you have to let us read your minds first to make sure you're not working with Galby. You know, sometimes I wonder why he didn't just make a sleeper agent where they have no memory of it and can't be sensed by a scan. That would have been awesome.
But no, that's not going to happened and it is sad. Ah well.
Everything is agreed upon and they all cheer. Yay!
Wow. That went on a lot longer than I thought it would.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-01-17 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-17 01:28 am (UTC)How they get together to decided these things, I don't know. I mean they're cats.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-17 07:36 pm (UTC)