kippurcritiquesbadbooks | More bed scenes. No, we're still in bed. Really.

Chapter twenty three

They all don't die. Instead Claudia stops Cookie from going over to the bed and having se--- I mean helping Anita. She wants his gun. He doesn't want to give it to her. Why he needs a gun, I don't know. Except for drahma it causes and the little of tension. And makes Anita special again.

Claudia stopped him, standing in his way, towering over him. It was probably the first time he'd met a woman tall enough and muscular enough to do that. Just seeing his reaction to it would say a lot about him.

"Call your rat off, Blake," Cookie said.

"Give up the gun and I move," she said.

"I was more armed than this when she touched me earlier."

"Then you were body guarding your master, now you're about to get up close and personal with one of mine." Her voice was low and matter-of-fact. I thought it was interesting that she implied I was one of her masters. News to me.

To further things into what the fuck territory, Anita becomes calm with a "moment of peaceful sociopathy" as she watches Cookie come towards her. Where "[the lion]'d kill him before accepted him, but there was no passion to the decision. It was colder than any thought I'd ever had, except when I'd decided to kill." So she's not at all bothered by this thoughts. It's rather Eragon like where she is all, "Gee I'm going to kill someone. And isn't that a lovely flower over there?" It's like she doesn't even care about this guy's life. And why? Because she was an asshat and decided to call up the other animals instead of trying to control the wolf.

I like the word asshat. It reminds me of dear Serious Ass. Ahh...

At this point I would like to mention that there has been sex fourish times and nothing has happened plotwise.

Cookie comes over to the bed and he has more Sesame Street tattoos. Bert and Ernie faces on his left shoulder. Um... you know, I really don't know what to say to that, except that the guy seems to have some sort of creepy obsession with a children's show and I really wouldn't want him near my kids. If I were to ever have any. In any case, Micah tells him that he needs to take Anita's beast. He's a bit WTF?

But then his nose gets a whiff of Anita and the fact that she somehow smells like three different animals. Jean-Claude says that she "seems to have the ability to aquire the animals of the vampires she comes in close contact with." Octavius doesn't like this at all cause it would make her very dangerous and powerful (not like she's not now) and then Octavius is very "That's not good why haven't you told anyone because of it." So Jean-Claude comes clean. Says that she has a human servant like a vampire (which should be impossible) and the three strands of lycanthropy.

He then says that she's just at the point of change but has managed to fight it to a standstill. Where upon it's said that, "You can't do that, no one can." And thus Blake breaks another rule established by her universe. Why? Because she'd just that special. Or perhaps It's Magic! Or she's just that speshul because of magic!

So she gives Cookie her beast. Some other things happen, but it's not important. Just Richard and Micah snipping at each other. Similar thing happens to Cookie like happened to Nathaniel.

When they're done, Anita calls Cookie, Cookie and he accepts it saying "Cookie Monster works just as well."

Then there's penis sizing contest. Or boasting.

"You haven't seen me at my best, yet" he said, and smiled for sure.

I did not understand the comment. Micah did. "He's implying that he's big."

"Oh," I said, then had to smile up at Micah. "He should brag until he's seen the competition."

The lionman rolled his face to look at Micah. He wasn't looking at his face. Micah said, "You aren't seeing me at my best either."

Even through the lion's face I could see the arrogance as he looked up at me,not at Micah. "Trust me, I'll measure up. Auggies was shopping for size, not just talent."

See, the penis contest is more important than the fact that Anita somehow has the ability to have a vampire servant when she's not a vampire and hold three strands of lycanthropy without having changed. Also, I would think that someone of Anita's position would recognize a size comment when she hears one.

Nathanial and Micah take Cookie down to the feeding grounds. Cookie wanting to know if the sex was worth it. Anita says that he might not be getting sex from her. He says, "Damn, girl, what does a man have to do to meet your standards?"

Richard wants to know the same.

Thus we enter into Richard/Anita bitch fight number three. He wants her to be his Alpha female and her to leave the others. He wants to be a couple and he thinks that if Jean Claude hadn't interfered, they would be. He asks her if she had to become a wolf for real and give up Micha and Nathaniel would that have been so bad? And she says yes, while crying. Then she gets bitchy about him just seeing the ideal of him. She says that she just doesn't want to be with him. Which is a lot different than the earlier Anita who did sort of want the the picket fence life.

Finally they sort of get it out that she doesn't want to be with just him. Which she has been saying the entire time but somehow he doesn't ever seem to listen. He's sad. And then he asks if she'd becoming with him to church next weekend and have dinner with his family. She says yes.

Which is just like pushing that button that says don't push, getting a hammer smashed on your head and doing it again. And again and again. It's not even madness because they're not really expecting a different result. They're just hitting themselves in the head for no real reason than because Hamilton said so.

The chapter ends with this exchange:

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I said, and meant it.

"I hate you, Anita," he said with almost no change in his voice.

"I hate you, too, Richard," I said and meant it.

The thing I'm reminded of here is the cliche of the two bickering couples people who end up falling madly in love and are true loves hand have many many sprogs together. Not like that'll happen here of course.