IT'S DONE!!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

This has been a long and torturous bumpy ride. But now? Now it is over. My dear pigeons, I present to you Twilight's epilogue.


Epilogue:


Bella is all dressed up and doesn't know why. Edward is all dressed up as well. She doesn't have a clue why this could be. Instead, we get a meandering on how Edward looks.

He threw a mocking smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I ever get used to his perfection?

"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" I verified.

"Yes." He grinned again. I'd never seen him dress in black before and, with the contrast against his pale skin his beauty was absolutely surreal. That much I couldn't deny, even if the fact that he was wearing a tuxedo made me very nervous.

First off, just in my writerly opinion a mocking smile is not the same as a grin. Mocking indicates that you're laughing at them. Grinning indicates that you're laughing with them. The fact that Edward is mocking her and that she never mocks back makes me feel like she's being laughed at for being such a fool. Also, notice the description of the clothes.

Alice played -in a remarkably cute phrase - Guinea Pig Barbie with Bella. Putting her in a frilly dress. Her reasoning for doing this? She reminded me that she didn't have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun. Sooo... Alice couldn't play dress up with herself? She needs to be human to put make up on people? She doesn't put make up on or dress nicely since she got changed? She has no personal hygiene? What's worse, Bella actually believes her. I seriously fail to see what one has to do with the other.

To make things even more annoying, suddenly Edward has a cell phone. Remember, Carlisle had to hand them out when they were splitting up. Now, he has one just in his pocket and it's his cell phone instead of a cellphone. The second meaning that he's just borrowing it or he has it for an unusual circumstance. But as it belongs to him, it means that he owns it and it's a regular part of his make up. On his cell phone he receives a call from Charlie.

Charlie had been...difficult since my return to Forks. He had compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Towards Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault- because, if not for him, I wouldn't have left home in the first place. And Edward was far from disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadn't existed before: curfews... visiting hours.

GASP you mean that Charlie actually thinks that someone Bella said she didn't like any more who then followed her out to Phoenix to expressively make her change her mind and then was involved in an accident that seriously inured her is bad for her?! You mean he's actually finally acting like a parent instead of a piece of cardboard!? SHOCK! SHOCK! SHOCK! Charlie showed some character! What is this book coming to!? Oh wait, it doesn't matter, we're at the end. I like the visiting hours. It makes it sound like Charlie is doing police supervision. Unfortunately, it's too little too late. And is thrown out the window in a few paragraphs.

See, Tyler has shown up at Charlie's house expecting to take Bella to the prom. This scene utterly baffles and angers me. Bella has been back for quite a while and Tyler would have had plenty of opportunities to confirm plans with her on when they're meeting up. And Bella had plenty of opportunities to, if he had asked, tell him no. The only purpose of this scene is so that Bella can realize that she's going to the prom... and Edward can continue his creepy stalker streak.

I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight." Edward's tone changed and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. "To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned . No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." He didn't sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face.

(bolding mine)

Edward has just said that she's not allowed to make decisions on what she wants to do at night. Why couldn't she be allowed to go out with Tyler, if only as a friend? Or Jessica. What he should have said is that he and Bella were dating which would indicate that Tyler's romantic intentions were unwelcome. His phrasing though indicates that anyone's attentions would be unwelcome. That only he has the right to be with her. This is utterly controlling, creepy and stalkery. As well as abusive. One of the signs of abuse is not letting the abusie do what she wants with people, controlling their every movement and friends. Not only that but Edward is unapologetic. He doesn't care that Tyler's evening is ruined. I know I'd be sorry if someone paid a lot of money for something and it didn't happen.

But here? Edward is obviously gloating about winning the Bella Prize. She's not a person but a thing to be one and trotted around like a prize horse.

Now Bella realizes that she's going to the Prom and is horrified. And she's been having vague suspicions all day and prom is no where near them. Edward is angry that she starts to cry. Why? Because Edward tricked her into going somewhere she'll feel humiliated at. He utterly dazzles her, He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me and she once again becomes passive and allows him to do what he wants her to do.

All the Cullen kids are going to be there, even Rosalie. Edward says it prefacing it with an ellipse, as if he's reluctant to have her go. Why shouldn't she if her husband is going? The reason being? She still acts as if Bella doesn't exist. And if she doesn't act like Bella exists then she is in the wrong.

Remember how a few bits ago Bella says that Charlie didn't like Edward and felt like it was all his fault that Bella got hurt? Well apparently he was in on Edward taking her to the Prom. But wait! I thought Charlie didn't like Edward! Oh Noes Charlie's brief spot light of character has gone down the tubes for the sake of the Romangst. There should have been something of Tyler being preferred to Edward or anything. BUT... yeah. That would get in the way of the romance.

The Prom is being held at the school gym and for some reason Bella finds balloon arches and garlands of pastel crepe paper funny. Never having been to a prom I don't know why this would be considered funny or not. But, we see the other four Cullen kids dancing on the floor. They've completely taken it up because everyone is in awe of them.

I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space - no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was string in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie was... well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neck like that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included.

My first thought when reading this? Is that Jasper and Emmett dancing together. And my mind went all OHH SLASHY!! And then... wait... that doesn't fit at all. Then we get to the girls. And as they're Speshul and Pretty they get the big description. Even longer than the location itself. Edward drags her on to the dance floor and dances with her by putting her feet on his.

Then Jacob shows up. Edward is Not Happy at seeing him. Especially since Jacob wants to talk. GASP someone Bella is friends with wants to talk to her! How HORRIBLE! Edward lets Jacob cut in giving Bella an intent look. It makes me feel like he's telling her that if she does or says anything he disproves of, she'll be in trouble.

Jacob shot up, before he was shorter than her, now he's taller than her. Minor detail, but I imagine it'll help for him being a potential love interest next book as you can't possible date someone shorter than you. Billy, Jacob's dad, wants him to deliver a message to Bella. Long and short of it Billy wants her to break up with Edward, (he didn't believe that Bella fell in Phoenix-at least someone has sense)and that to warn her that, "We'll be watching". Bella laughs it off as Billy meaning well. The dance ends. Edward cuts back in.

Edward is mad, not at Billy for saying those things, but at Jacob, for two reasons. One: He made Edward break his promise of not letting go of her all night. (Does that mean he'll go into the bathroom with her if she needs to wee?) and two: he called Bella pretty instead of beautiful. Um... right. Odd reasons to get irritated at a person. But I think it's mostly because Jacob showed an interest in Bella who is Edward's. He really needs to get her a dog collar for that.

Edward takes her outside, it's twilight. GASP SIGNIFICANCE saying "Twilight, again," he murmured. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end." He brought Bella to the Prom so that she could have a life experience. Bella says that it would only be a parallel dimension of her going to a prom. The reason why she went is because Edward took her. Bella wishes there was some way to explain to how very uninterested I was in a normal human life.

That is not healthy. She has completely given up her life just so that she can be with him. She will do anything to be with him. Again, I bring up that point that if Edward asked her to kill someone or he'll leave, she will kill them. This is not romantic. You are supposed to have interests outside of The Guy.

Finally Edward asks Bella what she thought was going to be happening because they were all dressed up. She thought he was going to turn her.

Yes. That's why they got all dressed up. So that he could inject her with a nasty venom that'll cause her great amounts of pain and kill her. Definitely a black tie event. Edward is at least reasonable about this, even if he does kill the twilight metaphor. So ready for this to be the end... for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything. Bella merely points out that it's not the ending it's a beginning.

She is suicidal. She has been throwing herself at a man who can kill her, threaten to kill her and is now begging for him to kill her. Sure, she'll come back as a vampire, but there's no way of knowing that she will. Well, we know she will because she's the heroine, but she doesn't. She just wants to die to be with him. This isn't romance, this is a tragedy.

She gives up for now as they both renew their vows of I Love you Forever.

The End.


*Does the happy dance*

aaaalmost done.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight, the Last Chapter (not including the Epilogue)

Chapter 24 An Impasse


Previous chapter: Edward has some of Bella's nummy blood but it doesn't do anything to him. Bella is seriously hurt. D: James is MIA. And Bella is all fuzzy in the head.

What should happen in this chapter, we see James taken down in a huge climatic battle where Edward almost loses but doesn't and manages to still save Bella by getting her to the hospital in time. What does happen in this chapter: Not that.

Bella wakes up from happy fog land in the hospital with tubes and wires and Edward sitting right next to her. She apologizes to Edward for being stupid and not telling him that she thought James had her mom. Personally, I think this is one of the times she is right in apologizing. That was the stupid thing to do.

Her mom is at the hospital and safe. When Bella asks what they told her regarding her extensive injuries, Edward replies, "You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." He paused. "You have to admit, it could happen."

Um. No. First of all, any competent doctor could tell that's not what happened. The injuries that you get from falling down two flights of stairs and a window are quite different that those you would get from getting smashed into a mirror and having someone step on you leg. There would be traces of mirror in her wounds as well and how does that explain the bite mark on her hand? Unless they mind-whammied the doctors, they would have told Bella's parents something completely different than what the Cullen's did.

Also, while we're at it, "if it could happen" we should have seen it before. From Bella slipping on the ice to falling on her face when getting of her truck. She should have had more scars and broken bones, the sort that would make people suspicious and call Child Abuse. There's no way that could have gotten away with no comment. Not in any sort of reality today.

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin and you've lost a lot of blood. The gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it - it made you smell all wrong for a while."

Then we get to the whole Edward Sucking Her Blood point.

"How did you do it?" I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.

"I'm not sure." He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not to disrupt one of the wires connecting me to one of the machines.

I waited patiently for the rest.

He sighed without returning my gaze. "It was impossible... to stop," he whispered. "Impossible. But I did." He looked up finally, with half a smile, "Imust love you."

Well, I don't remember any of that. He sucks her blood and then is "It's all clean." I don't remember hearing any strain or anyone telling Edward to stop or a tightening of her wrists... nothing to indicate that he was having difficulty. Just saying you are doesn't mean anything, unless you can back it up.

While I'm at it, I just realized something else. The only reason why Bella's clumsiness seems to be needed is as an excuse as to why Bella got hurt so badly. It gives her parents a blanket reason to accept her injuries. If it hadn't been constantly mentioned through out the book, it would come out of nowhere. But still, it does come out of nowhere because Bella is never shown to be clumsy. (I refuse to acknowledge the badminton racket incident.)

Bella apologizes for tasting even better than Edward thought she would. He says she shouldn't apologize for that but instead for "For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever" Why is this something she should apologize for? Why can't she leave him forever. Bella's response doesn't help at all. "You wouldn't have let me go" And that is not at all creepy. Or possessive. He's right there admitting that he won't give her freedom if she asked for it. He won't let her go and live her own life. This is, of course, romantic.

Oh hay, remember James? He pulled a Fan Fic Voldemort death.

"What happened to James?"

"After I pulled him off you, Emmet and Jasper took care of him." There was a fierce note of regret in his voice.

It's just like those fan fics with the Mary Sues with Volde getting mentioned with two lines and then forgotten. James isn't spoken about again. The Big Bad of the book is completely forgotten about with two sentences. He doesn't even warrant a paragraph. Or even dying by the Hero's hand. The sidekicks take care of him. The cardboard cut out side kicks take care of him, apparently rather easily and he's no longer of importance. He added nothing to the story and nothing would be lost if he wasn't there. He was a complete and utter non-entity. Which is not what villains are supposed to be. They're supposed to impact the story. Even Galbatorix, who we haven't seen has more impact, because Eragon actively worries about him and what he's done. James should have shown up sooner, had a larger presence and be I dunno... dangerous.

But! As he's not important, I don't get any more data on what to do about him. Instead we move on to the Cullen's story as to why they're here. He came with Carlisle and Alice to talk to sense into her. Carlisle being there for Parental Supervision. Of course, why Edward needs to talk sense into Bella is unaddressed. Obviously, wanting to leave Forks and Edward is senseless. And why doesn't Charlie follow Bella to talk sense into her instead of the guy she hates? Just... a bit of logic on my end. Coming up to their room, Bella tripped, fell and went through the window. Alice fabricated evidence.

When he touches her cheek.. her heart starts to beat erratically. And when he kisses her, her heart stops. This. Is. Not. A. Good. Thing. Bella cares not, as she wasn't finished kissing him. They kiss, the monitor goes wild. No doctors come rushing in. That is the point of the heart monitor, after all, to make sure the heart keeps beating and when it stops to let people know you're having issues. But as that would ruin the romance, no one shows up.

Except Bella's mom. Edward goes to pretend to take a nap on the couch. He can't leave Bella alone with her mother even for a few minutes of mother daughter privacy. Not that it means much. Renee tells her that she's been sedated for several days and that Carlisle looks like a model and Alice is such a nice girl. Mom is surprised that she's made such good friends in Forks. So, Bella distracts her with "Where's Phil".

Phil got signed! Wonderful news! Bella can move to Florida where there is sun! But OH NOES Then Bella wouldn't be able to be with Edward! Bella says that she lives in Forks and Renee is horribly reasonable in saying that she doesn't have to anymore.

Bella protests. One of the things she uses is that Charlie needs her. He'd been doing fine for all these years, and all of a sudden he needs her. Fortunately, mom shows a bit of sense and realizes it's Edward, saying that she thinks he's in love with her. But then she says that Bella is too young to be dating. She's seventeen and Edward appears to be seventeen. But Bella assures her that it's just a crush.

Mom tells her that she'll stay the night, like she has been because she's too nervous to go home. Seems there's been some nasty crime around. The Ballet studio has been burned to the ground... and they left a stolen car in front. That's how they got rid of James. Mom is convinced that she'll be okay because Edward is watching her.

Edward is just some guy. They're not married... yet... and mom doesn't even know him. Yet, she trusts Edward enough to leave him to watch over Bella. This is, of course, because Bella's mom suffers from Author knows that Edward is okay so She does too. This is, of course, just to get her out of the way so that it can be Edward Bella time again.

Once again, there is the "If I leave you then I can't hurt" you round about with Bella "I don't want you to leave me." "But if you're hurt, I'll kill myself" "But if you're not here I'll kill myself!" "Don't Kill yourself! I won't leave you!" "Don't leave me! Don't leave me!"

Essentially, that's it. Really. Talking about how much it hurt to see the other hurt and how they can't stand to see the other hurt so they shouldn't be around it but Bella can't have Edward leave her or else she'll die.

And then we get to the point of the venom, and how come Edward just didn't allow her to change. Edward says, But it just seems logical... a man and woman have to be somewhat equal... as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally." And then he says that she has saved him.

Annnd then we go onto to the "Change me!" "No! You need to live!" "You are my life!" "I won't do it to you!" "But I want you too!" "What about your family!" "They'll be fine even if I said a minute ago that they wouldn't!" "I won't end your life!" "I Need to live my own life!"

And this one is always lovely, I glared at him. "I man not die now... but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old."

Age really shouldn't be a factor here. It sounds like she wants him to turn her so that she won't get old. Yes, I know, she is going to get old, but they should be happy enough to enjoy their life together and then... well she dies. But instead her insistence that she can only be happy with Edward if she's not getting old makes her look shallow. As if she's afraid he won't love her if she gets old. Potentially a realistic idea, but the way it is presented it's not.

Finally we learn that Alice saw Bella getting turned into a vampire. Edward doesn't believe it will happen but Bella refuses to bet against her. Of course we know that Alice is right. Even if it's not in this book. Bella gets drugged and falls asleep.

And that's the end of the book, not including the epilogue. Which will be TOMORROW. And then NaNo

And Meyers just threw out the biggest plot point in the entire book.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Second to the last chapter!

Chapter 23 the Angel.

Bella is drifting in and out of consciousness. And she thinks she's dead because she's hearing the voice of an angel. It's Edward crying out in horror while behind him an awful tumult that my mind shied away from. A vicious bass growling, a shocking snapping sound, and a high keening, suddenly breaking off... Her angel keeps on crying for her while she tries to assure him that it'll be okay, but she can't speak or anything. Being seriously injured and all.

We get a fuzzy description of Bella's injuries, her ribs are broken as is her leg, she's lost blood and her head's cracked. Oh and her hand is on fire. James bit her.

On the hand.

James, the hunter, the monster, was able to control his blood lust when he knows he could drive Edward into an utter frenzy of anger and present to him a greater challenge.

And he bites her.

On the hand.

As opposed to tearing her throat out or brutally murdering her in horribly messy ways. This is what he wanted to do with Alice's sire, so why wouldn't he have done it with Bella. Beyond the fact that the plot requires Bella to stay alive.

Last minute rescues are always an option. And far more dramatic. A great big fight between Edward and James, very cool.

There is dramatic talking! Alice saying Edward has to do it! Edward refusing! Caralisle saying You have to try and suck it!

Out the venom.

See, the thing I don't get here, is why is Edward doing it? Edward has the overwhelming desire to eat Bella. Edward has to fight for control all the time he's with her, touching her. He almost killed her the last time he smelt her blood... from a paper cut. He's been plotting to kill her through most of the book. Caralisle has had tons of practice not getting excited at the smell of blood. He works with bloody patients all the time. He's a doctor, he'd know what he'd be doing.

But it's more romantic if Edward does it. He doesn't seem to have any issues with that, he sucks it out and I'm curious as to how this works. We don't get any explanation for it. And Edward is basically having himself a nice shot of heroine. And he has no problems with not finishing her off. He doesn't even mention anything about how nummy she tastes.

"Is it all out?" Caralisle asked from somewhere far away.

"Her blood tastes clean," Edward said quietly. "I can taste the morphine."

Very clinical. Not a bit of strain. It's as if this entire plot point The MAJOR plot point about the difficulty of their relationship (not that it acted like one), doesn't exist. There should have been arguing, strain. Carlisle demanding that Edward stop. Tension. Fear even on Bella's part.

This should have been one of the tensest moments in the book. Edward is faced with the one thing he's been wanting the entire book. Bella's blood. And he should be fighting it. Arguing against it. There should be some reason why he needs to do it and not Carlasile.

But it's not.

It just happens, passing over quickly without a thought.

And then Bella passes out again, after mentioning to Alice that James knew where she came from.

YAY BELLA GETS BEATEN UP! *bounces*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Twenty Two, Hide and Seek.

Having set into place Edward showing up and likely getting Bella's mother killed by James by telling him not to follow, Bella is now ready to go. Before they can, however Alice has an attack. One of those Seer attacks. One of those convenient Seer attacks. That happen just in time to give the heroes important information that they might need.

Alice doesn't tell them anything. Just that she saw the same room as before. It's obvious she's hiding something. Just like it's probably obvious that Bella is trying to hide something, as Meyers uses the same sort of language to describe how they act.

Bella believes in the Ankh-Morpok way of saving. She keeps her money in a sock. I guess I'm just too used to credit cards and debit cards that I find it odd. It's something that kids do. She takes it out of her sock and puts it in her pocket. Apparently she doesn't have a wallet? Or a checkbook? Just saying.

On their way to the airport, Bella asks how her powers work.

"Yes, things change...," she murmured - hopefully, I thought. "Somethings are more certain than others... like the weather. People are harder. I only see the course they're on while they're on it. Once they change their minds - make a new decision, no matter how small - the entire future shifts."

I nodded thoughtfully. "So you couldn't see James in Phoenix until he decided to come here?"

"Yes" she agreed, wary again.

You mean, people's futures change when they make decisions?! GASP I would have never guessed! I'm not sure if this could be really considered a proper precognition or not. It's more of an advanced warning system. That doesn't always work. But, unfortunately, she doesn't make used of it, much like Bella isn't making use of the fact that James has no idea what she is doing.

They get to the airport and after waiting for a while, Bella says that she wants to eat breakfast. She asks Jasper to come with her and as they walk, she escapes into the woman's bathroom. It has two exits and she leaves through the second one where she can escape to the elevators. She runs in the airport. Not at all suspicious. No one does anything about it though and the security is non-existent.

She gets outside, hops on a hotel bus. From the hotel she catches a cab. The cabbie complains about having to drive to Scottsdale, which is twenty minutes away, according to Bella. Seeing as how cab drivers make their money by time and distance, and it's only twenty minutes away, I really don't think the guy would complain. And likely, there might even be traffic. Which is even more money!

I'm being petty, I know.

While she's getting driven, she fantasizes about all the places she and Edward could have gone. Apparently running a few feet is reckless.. and she can't wait to be in his marble arms. Still find that creepy.

She finally gets home and discovers that no one is there. Instead, there is a phone number. She calls it. James answers. Tells her to go to the ballet studio.

WHY! What is the purpose of that?! Why does he need her to go wild goose chasing? It serves no purpose except to draw out the wangst as she Rushes to the ballet studio! Oh Noes What Will She Do If Something Happens To Her Mother?! I CAN'T STAND THE TENSION!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!

She gets to the Dance Studio and in a genuinely surprising twist, Bella's mom isn't there. James was using old VCR tapes with her mom's voice on them. That's actually pretty clever. Though, James for some reason is wondering why Bella isn't upset that he tricked her.

I'm .. duh... her mother isn't really in danger. There isn't a hostage situation. There's just her.

James gives a remarkably funny remark in regards to Bella. It's amazing - some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at all." This is in regards to selfish, this is all about me, Bella. Irony.

And James is not Preethy.

He was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at me curiously. There was no menace in his face or stance. He was so very average-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. Just the white skin, the circled eyes I'd grown so used to. He worl a pale blue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.

If I remember correctly, and I do, Alice said that one of the things that happen when you become a vampire is that you become UBER SEXEH to attract food. SO! We just had a Authorial Convenience Plot Device here. See, if James was UBER SEXEH then he could be considered GOOD because GOOD= PRETTEH. But Meyers wants James to be EVEAL so then he can't be PRETTEH. Because then Bella might be attracted to him. And if she's attracted to him, then she would be unfaithful to Edward and there would be tension! And maybe even PLOT! But, as we've all seen, this cannot happen. SO, James is merely, average. He's not Good like the Civilized Cullens. And so he doesn't get to be Pretty.

Bella continues to be dumb as she says that she doesn't think Edward will come for her because she says not to in her letter. I can't recall a single instance where he's done that, and neither does she. What makes her think he'll listen to her when her life is in danger?

James is disappointed that there hasn't been much of a challenge. If he wanted a challenge he should have attacked the Cullens three to seven. That would be a fighter's challenge.

Blah, blah, James Monologues. Blah... humans are predictable, he knew Bella would do this... waited for that... Victoria helped. Gloat, Blah.

We get another technology shift. Though, now I will say that the VCR thing is acceptable as many people do have a lot of their old family stuff on VHS tapes. Though, it still doesn't explain the phones. See, now, James has a palm-sized digital video camera. But, no one has cellphones except the Cullens. Riiigght. There's another one of those, Author knows, but Bella shouldn't know moments when James widens the frame.

Then, much to my utter disgust and horror. The thing that made me want to chuck this book across the room. It turns out that Bella wasn't the target. It was Edward. It was all for him, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add. AND he's the one who killed Alice's sire. He wanted to get Bella to get at Edward. Wondering if Edward would turn Bella, much like Alice's sire turned her to keep James away from Alice. He says that Edward was too weak to make that choice.

So, he only took Bella, to get at Edward, to see what he would do. And so Bella wasn't even the intended victim. If Bella hadn't been there, none of this would have happened. Of course, that's stating the obvious. If the Cullens had actually thought properly and gotten Bella out of there, none of this would happen.

In perhaps a very satisfying moment, James smashes Bella into the mirrors. She gets hurt. Badly. And then! James' breaks her leg by stepping on it! Isn't this fantastic?! I love James! Then! He smashes her face into the mirrors! There is blood! And pain! And Blood! And I can't believe I'm so happy about Bella getting hurt. You're not supposed to be happy about the heroine getting hurt.

Still, very satisfying.

Bella passes out as James goes to eat her BRAAAIIINSSS....! I'm mean her blood. >.>

I hate this plot point

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter 21: Phone Call


We've only got FOUR chapters left in Twilight. Scary, huh? Especially since we haven't like, seen any real plot until about three chapters ago.

An issue I'm having here is the lack of a time line. I don't know how much time has passed. There has been mentioned of meals appearing, which sort of indicates that at least a couple of days have passed. But other things, like James being fooled for so long don't make sense if he's such a good tracker. After all, they said that the clothes would only fool him for a while.

Here Bella begins the chapter with, I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. Days indicates at least more than three, for such a schedule adjustment. This fogginess makes it hard for me to tell what is going on. How much danger is Bella in? She doesn't feel very tense at all, merely commenting on that fact. There is a definite lack of tension here.

She goes into the other room where Jasper and Alice are talking, Alice still sketching. Bella has the remarkable ability to tell what direction things are facing, the window being in the south wall for example. Having done a lot of drawing, I can safely say that there is no way to know how to perceive this. This is the point here of the Author knowing before the Character. After a few more touches, Bella recognizes the house as her own. Thus, she would know that the windows would face south. It's a small continuity error that most people wouldn't notice, but it is the point of the author placing information that only she knows before hand.

Jasper makes with his empathy calm downiness which makes her feel dull and unfocused. Alice calls up Carlisle and we learn that he, Edward, and Emmett are going to come and get her to hide. Like that really worked well the last time. But of course Bell is all Edward? YAY!!

And then Bella remembers her mother and is very, "What about her?" Alice and Jasper say that they'll stay until she's safe. Which really, I don't think would work. After all Bella's mother is James' leverage over Bella. So, if he were to leave, he'd take Bella's mother with him, or just kill her as she would be designated as "useless". She tries to point this out and they're all, it's okay, we'll handle it. Then Jasper tries to put her to sleep.

You know, they're manipulating Bella as much as James is, but he isn't doing it in the name of helping her. They aren't trying to trick her. He just wants to eat her. The others don't appear to have a reason beyond "helping" her. But if they really wanted to help her they would have taken care of James as soon as he became a threat.

Bella runs out of the room so that Jasper can't put her to sleep.

I walked to my room and shut the door, slammed it really, so I could be free to go to pieces privately. This time Alice didn't follow me. For three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking. My mind went around in circles, trying to come up with some way out of this nightmare. There was no escape, no reprieve. I could see only one possible end looming darkly in my future. The only question was how many other people would be hurt before I reached it.

The only solace, the only hope I had left, was knowing that I would see Edward soon. Maybe, if I could just see his face again, I would also be able to see the solution that eluded me now.

What it appears to me is that, Bella has become so dependent on Edward that she is incapable of thinking for herself and requires Edward to come up with the solution. Only when he is there will she be able to know what to do.

Bella's mother calls and we get the typical, Person who is holding someone hostage giving the other instructions while pretending to be the hostage, phone call. Of course, the usual demands are made, Come alone or your mother dies.

And of COURSE Bella is going to do this. They ALWAYS do this. It's STANDARD procedure. James is nowhere near where Bella is staying. He has no way of knowing what Bella is going to say. They could make plans on how to rescue her mother without James knowing.

Instead she writes a weepy letter telling Edward that she loves him, that she has no choice because James has her mother and that he shouldn't follow her. Hoping that he won't do that.

Of COURSE he'll follow her. All the Cullens will follow her. And they don't know where Bella lives so it'll take them a while for them to find her. Except that Alice will have one of her premonitions and they'll bust in and try to rescue her and it'll all go bad.

But instead, Bella writes her letter, tells no one, And then I carefully sealed away my heart.

Stare *_*

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Twenty: Impatience


Now I have sort of mixed feelings of what Meyers did here. By taking Bella away from the action of James, we loose some of the tension and fear, the only thing Bella is worried about here, now is Edward's safety, as opposed to her own. Meyers does try to fix that with putting Bella's mother in danger, but still is almost secondary. Bella is going to be sitting around, being passive.

So, Bella wakes up in a hotel room after having been driven all night from Forks to Phoenix Arizona. At twice the legal speed. I'm surprised they weren't pulled over. Or the car didn't die on them. After all, cars aren't made to go that fast for so long. I wonder if they stopped for gas? They'd have too. Bella finds Alice's neck, despite being granite, comfortable. Maybe she has some kind of stone fetish?

The chapter is mostly Bella angsting. She basically goes around in a sort of daze of timeless boredom and why hasn't Edward called yet? It's all wait, wait wait. Jasper and Alice sit still and there is waiting. And more waiting.

We stay in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them to ignore our maid service for now. The windows stayed shut, the TV on, though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was delivered for me. The silver phone resting on Alice's bag seemed to grow bigger as the hours passed.

My babysitters handled the suspense better than I did. As I fidgeted and pace, they simply grew more still, two statues whose eyes followed me imperceptibly as I moved. I occupied myself with memorizing the room; the striped pattern of the couches, tan, peach, cream, dull gold, and tan again. Sometimes I stared at the abstract prints, randomly finding pictures in the shapes, like I'd found pictures in the clouds as a child. I traced a blue hand, a woman combing her hair, a cat stretching. But when the pale red circle became a staring eye, I looked away.

And on. And On. It goes. For eight pages.

We change topics when we learn how vampires are made.

Ahahahaaaa.... Stone Statues are supposed to be physically attractive to their prey. Truly an Adonis here.

I wonder what happens when you change a fat or/and ugly person? Or even the idea of beauty being in the eye of the beholder? What if you don't find whatever the Cullens look like as attractive? Or old even.

Meyers Vampires are venomous.

No. Really.

They are.

"The venom doesn't kill - it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that close, the prey doesn't escape. Of course, there are always exceptions. Carlisle, for example."

She's making it sound like the venom is like a vampire's appendix. Oh, we don't need it to kill people, it's just there. And, personally, I don't think a venom that causes pain would be a good way to incapacitate a victim. Paralyzing venom would work better. I think that's how most of them work in the natural world.

And then Alice has a vision.

James will be in a room with mirrors. At first they think it's a ballet studio. There's a VCR and a TV. The presence of the VCR indicates, that yes, we're in the late 1990s. Which is confusing with the smaller phones. And I'm surprised they got reception out in the middle of Forks. At that time... I'm sorry, I think I'm paying too much attention to research details. Sorry.

Bella is wondering if they should call, but THEN with timing of Isn't That A Convenient Coincidence, the phone rings. These are supposed to be set up as ominous foreboding in books like these. In comedic situations, they'll precipitate a humorous something happening. But here there should be a sense of dread, instead it just feels... convenient.

James, sorry, the tracker is heading towards Bella.

Still Bella gets to talk to Edward and she goes all floaty. I felt the hovering cloud of despair lighten and drift back as he spoke. It's almost like a euphoric addiction, her reactions to him. She's gotten her Edward hit. In fact as soon as Edward hangs up, she gets all depressed again. Sounds like a drug to me.

James will be in a room with mirrors. At first they think it's a ballet studio. There's a VCR and a TV. The presence of the VCR indicates, that yes, we're in the late 1990s. Which is confusing with the smaller phones. And I'm surprised they got reception out in the middle of Forks. At that time... I'm sorry, I think I'm paying too much attention to research details. Sorry. Still, James is playing around with a VCR and Alice is drawing it for them so that they know what the room looks like.

Bella thinks that it might be the ballet studio that she went to which is right near her house. A bit too close for comfort so she borrows Alice's phone, after making sure it was safe to use, and tells her not to go anywhere until she talks to Bella.

Then Bella goes back to staring at the walls.

Dehumanization

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Nineteen.

This is a semi-effective chapter. It would have been more effective I think if we had actually gotten to know Charlie better as a character. I shall explain. Emmett, Edward, Alice and Bella go to Charlie's house. Edward knows that James isn't there. Currently I'm shipping Edward/James. They know each other so well. Bella is crying because she doesn't know when she'll see Emmett again. It's odd. She feels worse about not seeing someone she just met than she does about anyone else, like say Jessica or Mike. Both of them have had serious contact with Bella, but they're not mentioned as being in possible danger. It's like they don't exist.

Not important. They get to Charlie's house and Edward tells her that she has fifteen minutes to get out. There are declarations of love. "I love you," I sad in a low, intense voice. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now." That reminds me of a bad romance novel line. She should be wearing a low cut bodice and Edward should have pale white skin that was granite har... wait, never mind.

To convince Charlie that she was leaving for real, she storms in screaming that she hates Edward. She screams about how she hates Forks and everything. And then she says something that her mother said to Charlie when she left him.

The thing is, it would have greater impact if we knew more about Bella's parent's relationship before hand. We know that there are still pictures of her mother in his house, but we don't know why. Obviously they're divorced or her mom wouldn't have gotten remarried. But he must be carrying a torch for her still. After all, he doesn't appear to be seeing anyone else and is just living by himself. In fact he seems to be and was, completely static until Bella showed up. And now he'll be completely static again.

The only relevant information he gives us is that Bella's mom might be coming back in the end of the week to Phoenix.

Then something interesting happens. James is no longer referred to as James but instead, "the Tracker". Meyers has dehumanized him. This will make it better later on in the story when there's the big fight between him and Edward. Edward won't be killing another sentient being but instead an animal that needs to be put down. He won't be a murderer this way. You can't murder a tracker, you can murder a James. If Edward murdered a James then he wouldn't be perfect anymore. Murderers aren't perfect and for Bella and his romance, Edward has to be perfect. (Or as I learned from wikipedia, it's not Edward who kills James but Jasper and Emmett, still the point stands).

James follows them. But doesn't attack them.He is tracking them. Bella wants to know why James is so interested in her.

It goes like this:

1. Bella smells yummy.
2. Edward defended Bella, which made her even more appetizing.
3. The Rest of the Cullens defended Bella, which makes her a yummy challenge.

So, they basically set Bella up as an appetizer on a plate for James because they kept her around instead of getting rid of her when they first sensed the vampires coming. Especially since Alice can see the future. I think the other vampires are trying to tell Edward something.

Just a thought.

To continue the idea of James being nothing more than an animal and Edward and the Cullens better than him, Edward says, he doesn't think he'll have any choice but to kill James and that Carlisle won't like it. He says it in such away that it sounds like he's putting down a dog.

Finally we learn what can kill a vampire: You tear it to shreds and burn it. I wonder what happens if you just burn it. Or just tear it to shreds.

While we know just about as much about Laurent as we do James and Victoria, he's the only one that they dignify with a name. Victoria becomes "the woman". She and James are both blood thirsty animals who love hunting while Laurent only joined up because he felt it was better than getting eaten by James. Since he is obviously a good person in bad circumstances, he gets a name and leaves in peace. His entire point in the story is to be all OHGMAIWD U DON NO HOW EBIL JAMEZ IZ!!!!11!!!

That function having been fulfilled, he leaves, sounding like he might convert to the Cullen way of life.

Laurent having left, they do a sort of Emergency Shut Down on the house by having all these huge metal shutters cover up the windows. An odd thing to do, because we've already seen Edward able to pull trees from their roots and stop cars and two vampires sound like thunder crashing when they run into each other. How exactly are metal shutters supposed to stop vampires, when they're likely to be able to punch through the wall?

Just a thought.

Edward tells Rosalie to change clothes with Bella and Rosalie refuses. She even gives a perfectly legitimate reason, "What is she to me? Except a menace - a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us." Sadly this gets promptly ignored. It would have been an interesting interaction between Edward and Rosalie as Edward has to justify his actions of putting the family in danger for, as Laurent called her, a snack.

It gets dropped, and Edward tells Esme to change clothes with Bella instead. Edward is actually acting rather like the head of the coven than Carlisle. Carlisle doesn't bother to protest or say anything for or against Edward's actions. Instead he allows Edward to order his wife around.

Bella gets passed along like a football. She and Esme change clothes to confuse the scent. And Esme is able to fit into Bella's obviously much smaller clothes.

They split up with Alice and Jasper taking Bella down to Phoenix when the coast is clear. They have cell phones. Carlisle is handing them out. I would think that maybe the story is set before cell phones were numerous, but they're a "tiny silver cell phone". And when they're that size, everyone has them. People who can't afford them have them. It's a plot convenience. After all why does he need to hand out cellphones instead of everyone having them? The Cullens are obviously rich enough (see their cars and clothing) so they should have been touting the cell phones around with their cars and clothes in their trying to blend in.

Alice and Jasper take Bella off, Alice offering to carry Bella. Bella admits that this is the first time anyone has asked her permission. So they've all been tossing her around like, as before mentioned, a football. If they had seen her as an actual person, they would have said something to her about it.

He said that she said that you said...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Eighteen, the Hunt.


Now we get to meet some of the other kinds of vampires. The terms that they're described in are very animalistic. She calls them predators exhibiting the natural respect of a troop of predators as it encounters a larger, unfamiliar group of its own kind. In fact Meyers makes a direct point of differentiating the civilized Cullens with these new vampires.

As they approached, I could see how different they were from the Cullens. Their walk was catlike, a gait that seemed constantly on the edge of shifting into a crouch. They dressed in the ordinary gear of backpackers: jeans and casual button-down shirts in heavy, weatherproof fabrics. The clothes were frayed, though, with wear, and they were barefoot. Both men had cropped hair, but the woman's brilliant orange hair was filled with leaves and derbris from the woods.

If we remember the Cullens are always dressed fabulously, in designer clothes with fancy cars and always look perfectly primped. This is because the Cullens are...tame vampires. They've been domesticated while these new ones are wild and dangerous. This is rather the cliche in discovering the good and bad guys. Nicely dressed? Good. Ragged and worn? Evil. Because obviously they're not perfect, and so not perfect is evil. And they're obviously savages because they're running around without shoes on as opposed to being a sophisticated doctor. The new vampires are Laurent, Victoria and James.

They do some small talk, the new vampires amazed that the Cullens have a permanent residence. Carlisle invites him to their place, continuing to surprise the new ones at the fact that he has a home. Then Bella gets noticed.

The new vampires are ooh SNACK!! And Edward is all MINE and growlly. And they're all, but it's snack. And Carlise is No. She's not. Laurent, the guy in charge is all, well fine. We won't eat her or hunt in your territory. James is sad face. He wants to eat Bella. I'm sad faced too. I want James to eat Bella.

Bella is actually afraid of these new vampires. This whole time Id' been rooted in place, terrified into absolute immobility So, she's afraid of these vampires, but not the Cullens, even though Edward had been telling her constantly that he's dangerous. But see he's refined and pretty and rich so he's not dangerous. These people are hillbillies and they called her a snack. Meanwhile Edward has admitted wanting to kill an entire classroom of people just to have Bella. They've only were wondering why the Cullens brought a snack. But again, since they're not the preehty Edward, they're scary. They're even described as being animal like. I think I'd prefer the animal vampires than the civilized ones. Because at least you know the animals are going to go for your throat, the civilized ones... well, they might or they might not. They'll just smile at you the entire time and you can't tell if they're thinking about eating you or not.

Emmett, Edward, Alec and Bella go back to the Jeep while the others take the new vampires back to their place by running. Edward starts driving and the four of them try to figure out what to do. Edward says that they have to get her far away from there. Edward keeps on telling her to be quiet and not listen to her when she says that Charlie will call the FBI if she doesn't show up back home. When they try to come up with a plan, Edward refuses to listen and keeps on driving faster.

It's because James wants to hunt Bella. This, rightly frightens Bella, and she says they need to warn Charlie. The interesting thing is that they have her thrashing against her harness and it reminds me of a squalling child throwing a fit in the back seat of a car. Edward knows almost everything about James it seems like. Like he won't stop hunting Bella and he won't stop until she's dead. So, they have to kill him. Emmett has no issues with this.

Bella offers another option. Let her go back to Phoenix. Tell her dad she wants to go back home for a bit. That way James would have no reason to bother her dad. Though, really, I'd hardly see that as a deterrent. After all, Charlie knows where Bella lives.

After a lot of bitching and the old, "I know that he'll know we're plotting this and so he'll know it's a fake, because we'd never actually say where we're going in front of him." Emmett calls it diabolical. They decided that Alice and Jasper will take Bella to Phoenix so that way it won't look like Edward did something to her. Then after a few days, Edward could come after her.

Plan set, they go to her home.

stone stupidity

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter seventeen, the Game pt two


After Charlie's "Fatherly Grilling" of Edward where upon they immediately become Chummy and make light about Bella, Edward and Bella leave. Edward brought Emmett's Jeep. Edward puts Bella in her seat which is an off-road harness. There are many straps and buckles. I am reminded of a baby seat. Bella has problems putting all the buckles together, so Edward does it for her with a sigh. He also sighed when he helped Bella into the Jeep. I'm not sure what sort of sigh it is though. Exasperated, fond, amused? Were they two different kinds of sighs? Sigh is such a blank word. It can me so many different things and with Edward who is also so blank, it's hard to know exactly what he means.

After sniffing and fondling her some, and not putting on his seat belt he mentions that they're going to have to run some of the way to get where they'll be playing. This of course makes Bella all queasy. Definitely a reasonable response. Edward finds it funny.

When they finally get to the point where Edward needs to take her on piggy back, Bella decides she doesn't want to go. Edward dislikes taking no for an answer.

"Sorry Bella, we have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here."

"What happened to all your courage? You were extraordinary this morning."

"I haven't forgotten last time yet." Could it have been only yesterday?

He walked around to my side of the car in a blur. He started unbuckling me.

"I'll get those, you go on ahead," I protested.

"Hmmm...," he mused as he quickly finished. "It seems I'm going to have to tamper with your memory."

I'm sorry, whut? She's said no twice to him. TWICE. He doesn't listen to her. He's taking over for her and over-riding her wishes. Not only that but he says that he's going to tamper with her mind. Straight out, not at all in a whisper, but where she can hear without straining herself. And yet we're supposed to believe that he cares about her. I suppose it could be argued that he doesn't want her to be afraid and thus by messing with her mind, fixes that, but he should have the patience to deal with her in proper normal human terms. If she doesn't want to piggy back, then they should walk, even if it'll take them longer to get there. He needs to be sensitive to her needs.

To fix it, he ... well... he fondles her. Kissing and touching her while saying that would he do anything to hurt her to get her to admit that she won't be hurt. Why yes, that is direct manipulation. Which, had this book been about Edward being an evil bastard, be perfectly acceptable. However this is supposed to be him being romantic. And yes, the subtle kissing and touching could be considered romantic and seductive, it's just the circumstances that they are presented in takes it away.

Meyers seems to have an uncanny knack for this. She presents situations that should be considered romantic or sexy or erotic but it comes off as abusive because of previous statements, the "modifying of her memory".

And Bella gives in.

"Would I let a tree hurt you?" his lips barely brushed against my trembling lower lip."

"No," I breathed. I knew there was a second part to my brilliant defense, but I could quite call it back.

"You see," he said, his lips moving against mine. "There's nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

"No," I sighed, giving up.

Why does she have to give in? When has he ever given in? It doesn't make her a strong heroine like she's supposed to be, but spineless.

They fully kiss and there the line, "I was suddenly welded to his stone figure". This sounds like it was stolen from LKH. And how is a stone figure desirable? Really, I be she could get a statue of Edward, full erect in the important places, and there'd be no difference in their relationship at all.

After throwing Bella onto his back, he runs off to the field where they'll be playing baseball. When she gets off his back, she falls onto her arse and Edward laughs at her. She gets pissy about this and he tells her not to be mad. I don't see why not. He just laughed at her. She wants to know how come he's the only one who can get mad. He tells her that, he doesn't get mad at her but himself. He could never get mad at her. "I'm never angry with you -how could I be? Brave, trusting... warm as you are."

Umm Ho-kay. I never realized that being warm was something you could use to not get someone mad at you. And I think he means physically warm as opposed to having a warm personality. As for trusting. Her trusting is very annoying. It's so blind that he could probably convince her to walk off a cliff with the promise that he'd catch her at the end, and she'd do it. I'd be angry at ending up with an unthinking puppet who did whatever I said. It'd be boring. Exchanges of opinion help make relationships interesting.

Bella asks Edward why he's angry at himself. I infuriate myself," he said gently. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to ---" And then he says, "I love you," he said. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true."


I beat you. It's a poor excuse for what I do, but it's okay because I love you.

And they go off the join the rest of the family for baseball. Esme is playing referee so she sits on the sidelines with Bella. She tells Bella that she sees them all as her children which replaces the child that she lost. Seem, that's the reason why she went off the cliff (jumped and not fell). And they move on to more important things, Bella being good for Edward. He's finally found someone so that's great.

Finally they break the laws of physics by playing baseball. They're using an ordinary bat and ball. They, however, have spaced the distances between the bases, pitcher's mound and outfield so that they're larger than normal. The pitches are so fast that you can't see them and yet the bats and the balls don't get smashed into smittherines. There's no way in hell that the ball or baseball bat could survive such an impact that the vampires could give it, from what we've seen of their strength. Yet the balls are remarkably okay. They're not even shredded a little, and I know that balls have been shredded by normal humans pitching and hitting.

I suppose that doesn't count, because vampires throwing baseballs so fast you can't even see them and hitting them so hard it sounds like thunder is cool.

At one point, Jasper and Carlisle run into each other, When they collided, the sound was like the crash of two massive falling boulders. Is that even... if they're that tough... I don't even know how to put into words how wrong this is. It just doesn't make any logical sense. How can two people who used to be flesh... did they crystallize when they became a vampire? But that's impossible unless they become a fossil. Dead people rot, not become stone.

SUDDENLY Alice realizes that those vampires that were coming to visit? Are almost there. They heard the lot of them playing baseball and now want to play. This of course worries them all because of poor Bella. They decided to stay playing instead of leaving. See if they had decided to leave, then the other vampires would think that they were done with the game and go back towards the house. Edward could then take Bella safely back home. But then Bella couldn't be in danger. So they continue to play, Edward standing in front of Bella protectively to draw attention to her.

Logic, I see, plays very little part here.

Edward apologizes for exposing Bella to the danger which could have been avoided if they had all left.

(no subject)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Seventeen, the game.


Edward drives Bella home from his place. Apparently the game is going to be later that night. Notice that Edward doesn't let her drive back to her place with him in the driver's seat or let her drive back by herself. He has to be in control of her comings and goings. When they get back to her place they notice that Jacob and his father Billy are there. Edward is furious at seeing them saying that they're crossing the line for coming to warn Charlie about Edward. Sooo, they shouldn't be telling an old friend that their daughter might be in serious danger because she's hanging out with a vampire?

Of course! After all, Edward is the vampire involved and so anything that's against him is automatically evil. Edward tells her to get rid of them, by getting them inside so that she could leave. Of course they won't be at ALL suspicious about the fact that she's getting out of the passenger side and not the driver's side. The truck, they'll just assume, suddenly became Brittish. Such things happen all the time.

Billy's brought up some fish at a horribly convenient time. Convenient enough to talk to Bella about Edward. He sends Jacob out into the rain to look for something that's not there. Jacob's been staring at the ground the entire time too. I'm not sure why though. Once Jacob is gone, Billy tries to talk some sense into Bella.

He tells her that he doesn't think it's a good idea that she's spending a lot of time with the Cullens. (FINALLY).

He raised his graying eyebrows at my tone. "You probably don't know this, but the Cullen family has an unpleasant reputation on the reservation."

"Actually, I did know that," I informed him in a hard voice. This surprised him. "But that reputation couldn't be deserved, could it? Because the Cullens never set foot on the reservation, do they?" I could see that my less than subtle reminder of the agreement that both bound and protected his tribe pulled him up short.

"That's true," he acceded, his eyes guarded. "You seem… well informed about the Cullens. More informed than I expected."

I stared him down. "Maybe even better informed than you are."

He pursed his thick lips as he considered that. "Maybe." he allowed, but his eyes were shrewd. "Is Charlie as well informed?"

He had found the weak chink in my armor.

"Charlie likes the Cullens a lot," I hedged. He clearly understood my evasion. His expression was unhappy, but unsurprised.

"It's not my business," he said. "But it may be Charlie's."

I like Billy. He just basically calls Bella on her shit and even when she tries to shoot him down and make him stop, he keeps on going. He tells her she needs to tell Charlie and he tells her that she needs to stop doing what she's doing. Flat out. And there's nothing Bella can say to him. This is, so far, my favorite part of the book.

Ruining it however, is the return of Jacob. Billy says good bye like this:

Well, Bella, tell Charlie" - Billy paused before continuing - "that we stopped by, I mean."

That there, I love. I love with all my heart. The sad thing is, Bella won't listen to, can't listen to him. He's wrong. He's only there to provide conflict and even then it doesn't last.

After Jessica calls Bella about the dance, which is strangely over despite the fact that it's not even dinner time, to tell her that Mike kissed her, Charlie comes home. And Bella tells him.

This leads to a very strange conversation as suddenly Charlie doesn't remember Edward's name. He keeps on calling Edward, "Edwin". Erratically.

"Well, I sort of have a date with Edward Cullen tonight, and he wanted to introduce me to his parents… Dad?"

It appeared that Charlie was having an aneurysm.

"Dad, are you all right?"

"You are going out with Edward Cullen?" he thundered.

Uh-oh. "I thought you liked the Cullens."

"He's too old for you," he ranted.

"We're both juniors," I corrected, though he was more right than he dreamed.

"Wait…" He paused. "Which one is Edwin?"

"Edward is the youngest, the one with the reddish brown hair." The
beautiful one, the godlike one…

"Oh, well, that's" — he struggled — "better, I guess. I don't like the look of that big one. I'm sure he's a nice boy and all, but he looks too… mature for you. Is this Edwin your boyfriend?"

"It's Edward, Dad."

"Is he?"

Let's see he gets Edward's name right the first time and suddenly forgets it. Not only that but he's suddenly acting like... well a concerned dad when before it sounded like he worshiped the feet of the Cullen's calling them absolutely fantastic and wonderful and gee-wizz everyone should be more like them, they've got such fine boys. And now he's done a one eighty and is... well...acting like a dad. Sort of. When he meets Edward officially they do the "Standard Father Meets the Boyfriend" Talk. As if it were out of a sitcom

"Come on in, Edward."

I breathed a sigh of relief when Charlie got his name right.

"Thanks, Chief Swan," Edward said in a respectful voice.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here, I'll take your jacket."

"Thanks, sir."

"Have a seat there, Edward."

I grimaced.

Edward sat down fluidly in the only chair, forcing me to sit next to Chief Swan on the sofa. I quickly shot him a dirty look. He winked behind Charlie's back.

"So I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball." Only in Washington would the fact that it was raining buckets have no bearing at all on the playing of outdoor sports.

"Yes, sir, that's the plan." He didn't look surprised that I'd told my father the truth. He might have been listening, though.

"Well, more power to you, I guess."

Charlie laughed, and Edward joined in.

"Okay." I stood up. "Enough humor at my expense. Let's go." I walked back to the hall and pulled on my jacket. They followed.

"Not too late, Bell."

"Don't worry, Charlie, I'll have her home early," Edward promised.

"You take care of my girl, all right?"

I groaned, but they ignored me.

"She'll be safe with me, I promise, sir."

This really does feel like it came off of a sitcom. "Go ahead and call me Charlie"? "My girl"? Though the my girl is REALLY creepy because it's something a guy would say to another peer. It should be more, "my daughter" than girl. The fact that he does say girl leads to some ... interesting cross implications in my head. First, "girl" is what you would call a dog...or a horse or a car. Taking my girl out to watch baseball, taking my girl out for a ride, taking my girl out to play fetch. It's a very dehumanizing word to use. Also, since it is also the sort of possessive that some guys uses for their girls... makes me wonder who else has been watching Bella sleep.

There really is something about Carlisle

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter sixteen: Carlisle


This is one of those chapters that I think could have been cut. It's a background of Carlisle on how he became a vegetarian vampire. I'm sure it's very interesting, but it'd work better if the book was about Carlisle and not about Bella and Edward. Or Bella. Hrm... I'm not too sure which. In any case, it does nothing to move the story forward. It just seems like Meyers wanted to put in Carlisle's history because she thought it was neat. And no one told her not to. It acts as padding. And not very good padding. Because really, at this point, I want something to happen. But Carlisle's story brings the action, such as it is, to a dead halt.

So. Carlisle's story, as told by Edward.

We last left off with Carlisle having been bitten and hiding under potato peels in horror as to what he's become. He kinda turns into an angsty emo boy, trying to kill himself.

"When he knew what he had become," Edward said quietly, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" I didn't mean to say it aloud, but the word broke through my shock.

"He jumped from great heights," Edward told me, his voice impassive. "He tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist… feeding… while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over
everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."

Well. Let's see here though. Carlisle was a vampire hunter. He knew a vampire's weaknesses. Not only that he knew where a bunch of vampire hunters were. If he really wanted to kill himself because he was so horrified, he would have gone and found them. As opposed to... jumping off bridges and trying to drown himself. It indicates to me, at least, that he didn't want to kill himself. Because suicidal people usually find a way to do it, that actually works.

Bella is amazed at Carlisle's determination to not become a monster. Meanwhile Carlisle's determination not to eat anyone takes him far from human habitation, as he's starves. Then he runs into a herd of deer and eats one. GASP they help him be alive like! You know, I'm sure there were plenty of farms around then. He could have run into a cow and done the same thing.

Actually, now that I think about it, they should have become farmers. Or ranchers. They could raise cattle and other farm animals, thus giving them a steady food source. And they wouldn't have to worry about coming into contact with humans who'd notice their sparkles.

Of course, if they did that, then Edward couldn't have met Bella. And then there would be no book.

Tell me again why this is a bad thing?

Anyway, moving on. Carlisle found a new lease on un-life and realized he could un-live while not eating people. So, instead of focusing on becoming insanely rich, because he's just that good and wonderful, he studies to improve his mind. And then he swims to France to learn more.

Swimming to France surprises Bella. Edward reminds her that they don't really need to breath. (Because, you know, they're dead.) Bella is AMAZED at this. Edward is sad that she's not scared. He keeps on wondering when he's going to say something that'll scare her away. Almost like he wants it to happen. Actually he does want it to happen... so she'll be safe, so he says. But then he says that he also is glade she's not frightened away.

So, we still get our lovely mix messages.

Our story moves on with Carlisle in France. He studies in the universities at night. Music, science, medicine. No one found it odd that he only showed up at night. And I don't think there were night classes at the time, as the light bulb hadn't been invented yet. He decided as penance for being a monster that's never eaten a human that he'd try and save human lives by becoming a doctor. A thought, however, why then did he change Edward? Wasn't that cursing him just like Carlisle was cursed?

In Italy, Carlisle ran into like minded vampires. Well, like-minded in that they were also patrons of the arts etc. They wanted him to drink human blood, he wanted them to not drink it. I'm not to sure why Carlisle has been so special that he was able to abhor what he'd become enough not to drink human blood. Why were the others able to throw off their human morality and enjoy themselves while Carlisle became Angel? There is no reason given for why a vampire turns "evil". The only reason why Carlisle didn't become "evil" is because he didn't want to drink human blood. But why would anyone else who was turned want to drink human blood? Surely they would feel the same way about their neighbors and children etc. There didn't appear to be a "switch" like in Buffy that made them evil.

Why would good Christian vampires suddenly want to become people eaters?

A thought.

Eventually Carlisle went to the New World and wandered around. He started thinking about making himself a companion because he was lonely. Reasonable, I suppose. Except that Edward was his companion. Not a woman. But a young late teen boy. Nothing at all homoerotic in that. Nothing. And Edward's been with him ever since.

After this random interlude Edward takes Bella up to his room. Edward has a lot of CDs. An entire wall of them, plus a leather couch, a huge sound system and a great view. So, I'm thinking love nest. You?

Bella wants to know how his CDs are organized. Notice there don't appear to be any books around. Just the CDs and the AWESOME stereo system. She then tells Edward that she doesn't find him scary at all.

So, Edward tackles her onto the couch.

She still doesn't find him scary.

But Jasper and Alice show up. They want to know if Edward wants to play a game of what I think is Baseball because there's a thunder storm showing up.

This is next chapter.

You know, there's something about Carlisle...

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Head Trip on Breaking Dawn :D


Chapter fifteen, part two: Meet the Cullens

You know the title wouldn't be out of place for a sixties TV sitcom. The meeting of the Cullens also reminds me of a TV sitcom. They're standing by the piano together when Bella and Edward first walk into the house. Apparently trying not to frighten Bella. They great her, and Dr. Cullen insists that she call him Carlisle. Esme has a "cold, stone grasp" which is at odds of her described beauty. I keep on thinking about statues and marble. Which isn't very... well.. I know that Meyers is trying to make them seem inhuman, but I don't think this is the way she should have gone.

Jasper and Alice show up next. Alice makes right for Bella like some hyperactive spazz.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice said, and she bounced forward to kiss my cheek. If Carlisle and Esme had looked cautious before, they now looked staggered. There was shock in my eyes, too, but I was also very pleased that she seemed to approve of me so entirely. I was startled to feel Edward stiffen at my side. I glanced at his face, but his expression was unreadable.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," she commented, to my extreme embarrassment.

No one else seemed to know quite what to say, and then Jasper was there — tall and leonine. A feeling of ease spread through me, and I was suddenly comfortable despite where I was. Edward stared at Jasper, raising one eyebrow, and I remembered what Jasper could do.

So, when has Alice ever been close enough to notice how Bella smells? Has she been sitting with Edward watching her sleep? Also, why would this be something to comment on. It seems like Meyers is trying to make her the crazy seer type. The ones who always know what's going to happen and are always right. One step in the future and no hanging in the present.

Jasper is next. She's perfectly comfortable with him. "It was impossible to feel awkward near him." It's sort of nice she's getting along with everyone and they all like her. But WAIT Rosalie and Emmett aren't there! Could it be that one of them doesn't like her?! Oh NOES!!

She's distracted from this by a grand piano. There's actually a nice personal detail here. She'd like to buy her mom one if she ever got the money. Her mom isn't that good, but Bella likes watching her play. This is actually Bella finally thinking about something nice about a person not her or Edward or Edward's family and thinking about someone beyond herself. It's a very nice piece of character. It's a shame that there hasn't been more of it in the book.

Of course, Edward plays. And of course, Edward plays fantastically. Though, I'll allow this because he'd had plenty of time to practice. His music, being utterly beautiful, turns out to be written by him. He's just that good.

Then it's back to Bella again as she feels insignificant by his playing. To sooth her, Edward plays a piece he's written for her. It's very sweet. That's how it's described. As being exceptionally sweet. Which reminds me of cotton candy. Or a Halloween overload. Which leads to screeching children running around on a sugar rush.

I do not think that's what Meyers' wanted there.

The lack of Rosalie and Emmett is finally addressed. Emmett is fine with Bella it's Rosalie who is jealous.

"Well, he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.

He sighed deeply. "Rosalie struggles the most with… with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And she's a little jealous."

"Rosalie is jealous of me?" I asked incredulously. I tried to imagine a universe in which someone as breathtaking as Rosalie would have any possible reason to feel jealous of someone like me.

"You're human." He shrugged. "She wishes that she were, too."

Now this is interesting. We don't know how Rosalie became a vampire beyond her being made for Edward. Since these vampires are supposedly good it makes you wonder what sort of circumstances Rosalie was changed under. It seems it wasn't what she wanted, if she wishes she was too. But if the vampires are good, then why did they change her? Being made for a companion for Edward is hardly something good. They don't even have any chemistry together. Edward thinks of her as a sister. Did she and Edward even meet before Rosalie got changed? It seems superfluous. Or at least just a point made so that someone will be jealous of Bella, even if she'll come around.

The next point of interest is that there are some other vampires coming to town. Alice saw them coming. Edward tells her that he's going to be more overprotective of her than before. Because being over protective of someone who wouldn't normally be noticed by these vampires is a good way to make sure they're safe. Especially if you're known for not hanging out with any humans.

"Visitors?"

"Yes… well, they aren't like us, of course — in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

Again, way to draw attention to someone.

To make things even WORSE, Bella is afraid. Yes, Bella is afraid of vampires who aren't vegetarians but she wasn't afraid of Edward when she didn't know HE was a vegetarian. Why? Because they're not Edward. And since they're not Edward, they're something to be afraid of. This is because Edward is the Designated Love Interest who hasn't been done right. They were just thrown together and said, HERE YOU'RE IN LOVE!

The song that Edward plays (they're still at the piano, so Edward is just so good that he can play without paying attention) ends and Bella is so moved she's crying. Edward takes one of her tears (fortunately not a single tear) and tastes it. Again this is some of the erotic but not erotic parts of the book. He's tasting her. Almost as if you could say he's licking her, but without the physical contact.

Edward takes her on a tour of the house and it's noticed there's a cross. It's an old cross from the sixteen thirties that belonged to Carlisle's father. Now, here's another interesting case. If Carlisle was turned in the 1630s and Edward was turned in the early twentieth century because Carlisle was lonely, why didn't Carlisle turn anyone before?

Carlisle was the son of an Anglican pastor who a witch hunter and generally anything not Anglican hunter. Carlisle took after daddy, even though he wasn't as eager beaver to kill anyone who could possibly be a vampire/werewolf/witch/Catholic. He managed to find an actually find a vampire who attacked him and infected him, though it's not exactly said how. It also isn't said if he went bad right away or not.

But I suppose it doesn't quite matter. We're not told how he decided to become vegetarian or if he decided to wait so long to make Edward. Edward did mention that Carlisle was very lonely before he created Edward.

Also, an interesting thought. Carlisle was looking for a companion when he turned Edward. Why did he chose a male instead of a female. There were certainly many victims in the hospital to choose from, female included, but he chose the pretty boy to change.

Just a thought.

Chapter fifteen Moving on.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Fifteen, the Cullens

So, Bella wakes up and is ecstatic to see Edward still there. She throws herself into his lap and declares that she though it was a dream. In a very kind move, Edward says that she's not that creative. Isn't that nice? Your boyfriend says that you're not creative. Which means, you're probably stupid, because you can't think of anything that's not there. Sweet, huh?

Bella, of course, doesn't notice this at all, and instead runs off to check to see if Charlie is still around. He'd left an hour ago and Edward comments that she's not normally so confused in the mornings. ... Does this mean he watches her in the morning too? When she's getting dressed even? Still, no comment from Bella. She's off in la-la land.

When she comes back there's this touching exchange:

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." His eyes gleamed. "The talking came earlier."

I groaned. "What did you hear?"

His gold eyes grew very soft. "You said you loved me."

"You knew that already," I reminded him, ducking my head.

"It was nice to hear, just the same."

I hid my face against his shoulder. "I love you," I whispered.

"You are my life now," he answered simply.

The talking in her sleep is a rather odd affliction. I'm not sure if people who talk are that coherent. The few times I've heard my brother talk, it wasn't. But I could be wrong. Still it seems to be an awfully convenient device for Edward to learn about her. And learn how she feels about her.

Again, however, they've barely known each other for three months, and yet they're declaring their everlasting love for each other. She's his life now. He's been alive for at least ninety years and has seen humans come and go, and yet he's giving himself up to one girl he barely knows. A girl who's going to be dead with in a blink of his eye. Those never end well.

But this doesn't matter. Instead they go have breakfast and finally decide to tell Charlie that they're dating. Or soul mates. Something like that. Edward then offers to take her to meet his family. She's excited about this because she gets to meet her sweetheart's family. Right, three months, and barely talking for about one.

Then for some unbeknown reason she faints when Edward kisses her on the forehead. He's done that to her several times already and there's been snuggling and things, but now... it's all random except to give Edward a chance to hold her why she swoons. It's rather pointless and bizarre.


After this, Edward drives them to his house, in HER truck. All of a sudden, Bella doesn't have the right to drive her own vehicle. She doesn't even protest this. It's just sort of taken for granted. In fact, we don't even see them getting into the truck. They're just driving, or Edward is driving and this is just accepted.

Meyers does do good description. When she's not focusing on the Stony Edward.

I realized, as he drove my truck out of the main part of town, that I had no idea where he lived. We passed over the bridge at the Calawah River, the road winding northward, the houses flashing past us growing farther apart, getting bigger. And then we were past the other houses altogether, driving through misty forest. I was trying to decide whether to ask or be
patient, when he turned abruptly onto an unpaved road. It was unmarked, barely visible among the ferns. The forest encroached on both sides, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, serpentlike, around the ancient trees.

This is decent. I rather like the last sentence there about the road. Again there are nice descriptions of the house.

I don't know what I had expected, but it definitely wasn't this. The house was timeless, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration. My truck was the only car in sight. I could hear the river close by, hidden in the obscurity of the forest.

But... it's not to last.

Twilight Fan fic

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Title Seduction
FandomTwilight
Rating I'm gonna go with R for well, creepy material/subject matter.
Summary Edward is a stalker.

Sometimes, Edward reflected, it was too easy. Sitting in the rocking chair, watching Bella sleep he restrained a chuckle. When he first saw Bella that day in school oh so short but long time ago, he knew he found the perfect toy. He could read her anxiety as easily as he could read a textbook. He could read her mind even, but he knew her desire to feel special and decided to pretend like he couldn't.

( Read more... )

Edward's stalkieriness gets creepier.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter fourteen, Mind over Matter pt. two


So, Bella runs upstairs and looks for Edward in her room. He's lounging on her bed and laughs at her when she jumps in fright as she notices him. It's sort of reminiscent of the horror movies where the heroine finds the stalker in her bedroom and he laughs at her because he knows he's got her. Edward picks her up like a toddler by her arms and it does say that, and sets her on the bed next to him.

To continue to deceive her father, in a way, or at least to make him realize she's not sneaking out to see a boy, as opposed staying in to see a boy, she makes a big deal of getting ready for bed and getting into her PJs. She comes over and gives her dad a kiss good night. She's wearing a holey t-shirt and sweatpants, regretting that, "Too late to regret not packing the Victoria's Secret silk pajamas my mother got me two birthdays ago, which still had the tags on them in a drawer somewhere back home." Let's see, Bella is in high school. Seventeen, let's say. So, then her mom gave her Victoria's Secret silk pajamas when she was at least fifteen.

What sort of mother buys her daughter pjs from Victoria's Secret? I mean... That's just.. well, it's indicating that her mom wants her to be in sexual situations. That would be my guess at least. And Bella's regret at not having it indicates that she wants to be in such a situation with a person who practically controls her. She wants to seduce Edward. Which is odd coming from Meyer's background and her insistence on not having any of the characters swear or anything like that. And even if they're just regular PJs the fact that they're from Victoria's Secret gives them that edge of sexuality. Not only that, but I think this is the first time a brand name has been mentioned. You use brands when you want to point out something in particular.

When she gets back to her room she sees a carved Adonis (Edward) on her bed. Again with the stone and not so desirable. Stone on a bed reminds me of those stone caskets in tombs with a carving of the buried guy onto of them. Of which I know there's a word for, but I can't recall it at this time. Not at all sexy.

They spend more time not kissing and yet sexually touching in no-sexual ways talking about how weird it is to be touching each other and how much they want it.

It was very difficult, while he was touching me, to frame a coherent question. It took me a minute of scattered concentration to begin. "It seems to be… much easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" he murmured, his nose gliding to the corner of my jaw. I felt his hand, lighter than a moth's wing, brushing my damp hair back, so that his lips could touch the hollow beneath my ear.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," he clarified. "In the last hundred years or so," his voice was teasing, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…"

"You're good at everything," I pointed out.

"Thank you." He smiled. "You see," he continued, looking down now, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" He picked up one of my hands and pressed it lightly to his face. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome" — he breathed in the scent at my wrist — "I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…"

These are very chaste sex scenes. So chaste that there isn't even any sex. But they're very sexual and erotic.

And then there's this:

"That suits me," he replied, his face relaxing into a gentle smile. "Bring on the shackles — I'm your prisoner." But his long hands formed manacles around my wrists as he spoke. He laughed his quiet, musical laugh. He'd laughed more tonight than I'd ever heard in all the time I'd spent with him.

He's symbolically here, putting manacles and claiming her in this paragraph. Even though he says that she should but the shackles on him, he's putting them on her. Words mean less than actions. But she's still fascinated by his words.

And words he spins. Very scary words.

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt — I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care.

"And then the line started forming," he chuckled. I scowled in the darkness.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry.

"And then," he whispered, "as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." He was silent for a moment, probably listening to the suddenly uneven pounding of my heart.

There's something unnerving about this scene. Saying that he threw off his morality to do what he wanted. Saying that he no longer cares about doing what is right as long as he gets what he wants.

And Bella? She's still upset that Edward's listening in on her private conversations. This time with her dad.

How is this acceptable behavior? Again, this is reminding me of Orion in regards to his possessiveness of Alex. He watches Alex sleep. He gouged out the eyes of a guard who flirted with Alex, and then beat Alex for flirting with the guard. Edward has several times admitted to almost committing violence against another boy who expressed interest in Bella. Damage which could easily kill his victim. All in the name of keeping Bella to himself.

Bella does not object. Alex doesn't either. But he's brainwashed.

They move on and Bella wants to know why the Cullens' reject their nature and try not to eat humans. Edward, in a stunning bit of hypocrisy, says that they do it "To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can." Makes me wonder what sort of person Edward was when he was alive. If this is him trying to hold on to his humanity, what was he like when he was really human?

They talk some more, about the speshul powers that each vampire gets, probably because of their nature. I'm not sure exactly what sort of super power compassion and ability to love passionately is. Jasper, on the other hand, get as a long explanation of what his powers are, empathy and the ability to manipulate emotions. This will probably come up later.

Bella wants to know if they could get married. And Edward is well, yeah, but I could crush your skull accidentally while we fuck.

This does not bother Bella. Or frighten her.

From there they talk about how they're both virgins. Yes. Edward is a virgin. And Bella says that for her love and lust are the same thing. Now that she's met Edward. She's never been in lust before. I find it hard to believe that she's never noticed that cute guy over there, even for a split second. Obviously this proves that Bella is not in fact a living creature but instead a piece of cardboard. Like one of those cut outs that you can buy in movie stores.

In a "romantic" scene, Bella falls asleep in Edward's arms, as he hums her a lullaby.

It's the infamous Spying Chapter

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

So, I ran Laruna through the Mary Sue Litmus test She got an eight.

Bella got a Sixty Six. Mind you half of this was guessing because I'm not Meyers. Fifty Plus is Kill It Dead.

Edward got a Seventy Four.


Chapter Fourteen: Mind Over Matter

So, Edward is driving the two of them back. Bella is amazed at his PERFECT driving abilities. He doesn't even need to look at the road while he drives. Instead he holds her hand and stares at her a lot. He likes oldies music from the fifties, better than the sixties or seventies. Eighties were good though. I'm not too sure about that one, but he's allowed to have his opinion. There's nothing wrong with that.

Bella then asks how old he is. We get a loooovely piece of purple prose.

He sighed, and then looked into my eyes, seeming to forget the road completely for a time. Whatever he saw there must have encouraged him. He looked into the sun — the light of the setting orb glittered off his skin in ruby-tinged sparkles — and spoke.

The setting ORB. Who refers to the sun as an orb? It makes me think of a giant marble in the sky. And the fact that it glistens off his skin making it ruby colored makes me think of Dorthy's ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz. So, we have a giant flaming marble glittering on a human ruby slipper.

I'm not so sure that works.

Edward relates to us his Story Of Woe. He was born in Chicago in 1901 and dying of the Spanish Influenza in 1918. Carlisle found him and changed him into a vampire because he was an orphan. He doesn't tell us how it happened except that it hurt. Then Carlisle found his wife Esme. They found Rosalie who was supposed to be fore Edward, but he only loves her like a sister. Which is okay because she found Emmett who nearly got eaten by a bear. She was afraid she couldn't turn Emmett into a vampire herself so she ran a hundred miles back to Carlisle, the thing that kept her going? Something in Emmett's face. *sighs* Sometimes they live as a married couple, other times not and they have a wedding again every so often. It's Twu Lub.

Then there's Alice and Jasper who are Speshul. Alice was created as a vampire and woke up alone but didn't turn into a savage because she could see the future and knew that she would meet up with the Cullens.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

Um... I'm again, not really sure how that works, but okay. Also her ability is going to be useful. You just know it is. After all because she can tell when a supernatural threat is coming. This is an unsubtle bit of foreshadowing.

We learn that there aren't that many vampires and the reasons for the only can come out at night myth is probably because of their sparkliness. They live in the Olympic Peninsula because it's one of the sunless places in the world. I'm thinking this miiiight be one of those weather issues going on. STILL I honestly don't see why they can't live in a city where people are likely not to notice them. There are plenty of cities where they don't get much sun and they're less likely to get noticed. Like... St. Petersburg... or I dunno. Big Cities. And there's also MAKE UP to cover up the sparkles, I'm sure.

Here's a fun line, "It was easier to say in the darkness, knowing as I spoke how my voice would betray me, my hopeless addiction to him." You know, this isn't a good thing, Bella. No addiction is hopeless, but you're just saying you don't want to try and get away from him. She wants to be with him. Even though he's threatened her life and said she shouldn't be around him.

Of course, it gets worse. Bella discovers that Edward's been sneaking into her house. When Bella learns this:

"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.

He spied on you. When you were sleeping. Who knows what the hell he could have done to you. This is not something you should be flattered about. This is something that you should be screaming frightened about.

Instead she's more worried that he heard her talking in her sleep. Not sneaking into her bedroom and watching her because he finds her interesting, but hearing her talk in her sleep. This is not good and normal behavior. This is stupid and dangerous behavior. It's like asking the serial killer over for tea and complaining that he might see your dirty laundry.

Flattering is not the proper mindset. In fact she's angry with him because he hears her talk in her sleep and not because he likes watching her sleep. She stops getting upset though, when her father comes home.

When Edward asks if her dad should know he's here, she says no. So he vanishes, up into her room.

First Date

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Thirteen: Confessions.


While Meyers had a great cliffhanger last chapter. She utterly failed in resolving it. Instead of seeing Bella's impressions of what Edward looks like when he first steps out, we skip ahead to later.

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though
I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint
flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands
of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in
the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his
scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut,
though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some
unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

"Couldn't get used to it" indicates that she's been looking at him for a bit now. We don't get to see her first impression of what he looks like. What happens when he steps out into the sunlight? How does this make her feel to see how very inhuman he is? We don't even see how she feels in this description. It's a very weird and disjointed image and lavender lips reminds me of C*l*br*n not a happy image. And lavender isn't very attractive in the first place, reminding me of hypothermia. He looks like something that should go in a museum. Not at all desirable. He reads as distant and cold. Hard - and not in a good way. At least, not comforting.

She waxes on about how sparkly Edward is. For several paragraphs.

Hesitantly, always afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a
mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger
and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay within my
reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as
stone. When I looked up again, his eyes were open, watching me.
Butterscotch today, lighter, warmer after hunting. His quick smile turned
up the corners of his flawless lips.

I inched closer, stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of
his forearm with my fingertips. I saw that my fingers trembled, and knew
it wouldn't escape his notice.

I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm, followed
the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow. With my
other hand, I reached to turn his hand over. Realizing what I wished, he
flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting
movements of his. It startled me; my fingers froze on his arm for a brief
second.

And then they make out and have hawt sexors.

Well, no not really. But the intensity of emotion that they put in to just touching each other is like the intensity you put in during a prelude to sex between two people who are about to do it for the first time with each other.

It ends with the weirdest description of someone about to kiss that I've ever seen:

But I couldn't answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling.

Um... Edward smells tasty? I think? You shouldn't use food metaphors when describing sexual moments. Even a kiss counts as a sexual moment. Not that it goes anywhere. Edward flees.

The amount of time Edward spends running away from girls makes me start to wonder about his preferences. He kinda also acts like girls have cooties. If he doesn't want to be kissed or go that far, he shouldn't have to run away, but instead just tell her to stop.

Edward then shows off to Bella on how predator like he is, by running around and destroying wood. Bella says that she is frightened. "I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been." But we don't get any physical description of how she feels frightened. Beyond her face being ashen.

THEN Edward tells her not to be afraid, that he's not going to hurt her after twelve previous chapters of telling her that he's dangerous and could hurt her. *Headdesk* Nice contradictory messages here, yah?

When asked why she's afraid of him. She says she's afraid of wanting to be around him to much. Buh? To make things even more confusing Edward goes back to saying she should be afraid of being around him to much.

I'm getting whiplash.

He continues do whiplash more by saying he should leave because she wants to be near him but he won't because he doesn't want to and she should remember to be scared of him because he could eat her, even if he won't.

Do you get that? I don't.

Edward continues by saying that Bella's smell is like a heroin junkie's kind of heroin, Edward being the junkie. He talks about how it took everything he had not not jump her and eat her right then when he first met her. It's very sexual how he describes her smell and what it does to him. Denying his thirst is denying his sexuality. He tells her how he wanted to get her alone with him so that he could have his way with her. How he wanted to kill the entire class so that he could have her.

This doesn't bother her at all. It intrigues her. She's relieved to finally know why he acted the way he did, even if common sense told her that she should be terrified. She really doesn't listen to that voice.

I'd like to point out that we're about half way through the book and once again nothing has happened.

Edward admits that Bella is the most important thing to him ever. Not that he loves her though. That she's a thing that he finds important. Not the most important person. But a thing. But then he does admit that he loves her. Which I think is silly, mostly because they've barely gotten to know each other. I doubt Bella even knows what sort of books Edward likes to read. Or really anything about him beyond he's shiny and pretty.

There's an infodump about why Edward ran away from Bella and went to Alaska. He couldn't bear the scent of her so he ran away and then came back because he felt like he could bear the scent of her. MmmHmmm...

They do touching that's exceptionally sexual, but not. They do this a lot. It's kinda annoying. It's supposed to be sexual tension, but I just want to get it over with so that there can be plot. Or at least movement towards something. The constant talk of danger and snuggling is boring. Especially since we've been doing it for ten pages now. Okay, maybe not ten pages, but it feels like it.

FINALLY they leave the meadow. Edward takes Bella back to the truck on his back. Carrying her like a child. This happens to Bella a lot, as previously notes. It takes them two paragraphs to get back to the truck with absolutely no description.

There's more talk and pseudo cuddling as Edward tries to get Bella to stop being motion sick. And finally they kiss.

Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.

Um. Yeeeaaaaaah. Hokay. I'm seeing her blood breaking through her lips and making a big mess. Not a pretty picture. I'm sure Meyers was trying for hot blooded, but it just didn't work. Edward manages not to eat her and he's rather happy about it. He has stronger will power than he thought.

As they're about to leave (finally) he demands that he should be the one who drives because she's obviously not capable. At this point since Bella is very wobbly and motion sick, it's sort of a reasonable excuse. Still they drive off and I suppose in a way begin their relationship as a "couple".

This better work dammit

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter twelve pt. 2 (Take two)


Bella continues to lie to people she calls her friends and family. She calls up Jessica to tell her than she canceled her date with Edward to go to Seattle. Apparently she can't tell them -her, Mike or Charlie- that she changed her plans. They now think that she's going to be staying home instead of going out to Seattle, as opposed to what she's really going to be doing, which is going out somewhere with Edward. So if something happens to her and as she has no cell phone, they won't have any idea on how to find her. It's nice that she cares about their well being and happiness.

As opposed to Edward.

Or what she thinks will keep Edward just to herself.

Actually, now that I think about it, this is what Bella is trying to do. Keep Edward to herself. Or Edward is making her think she wants to keep him all to herself.

After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he'd written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice? To cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him.

She hasn't signed a legal document. She's not getting married. Technically she's just going out with a friend. Admittedly this friend has threatened her life on several occasions and is utterly stalking her, but still a friend. Still a lot is off here. She has to keep on repeating to herself that Edward wants her to be safe. -Not that he loves or cares for her - but that he wants her to be safe. And mostly from what he's said, safe from him. Also, you have to wonder why she doesn't think about how come he keeps on telling her to be safe. And it can't be because of her "fatal" flaw of being clumsy. We haven't seen her really do anything stupidly clumsy despite what she says. She's able to cook and not kill herself in the kitchen after all.

Remember when I said a few chapters ago that something made me really hate this book? I found something else that makes me hate it even more. If possible. Meyers encourages drug use.

I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I'd never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine — the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else.

If you love someone, it's okay to try and kill yourself. That sounds horribly Shakesperean. But really, she admits that she's doing things that she would normally find morally objectionable just so that she'll look good for the guy. It's for Edward, so it's okay. This sort of reasoning makes it seem like if you were to give Bella a gun and say, Edward wants you to kill someone," she'd do it.

Perhaps I'm being a little over dramatic here, but she's actively admitting she's doing something she finds morally objectionable. It's unnecessary and it's done deliberately. The message Meyers here is sending is that for a guy, it's okay to do something you don't think you should normally.

And is this one step away from having sex when you're not ready?

Perhaps.

It could seem like that. Sure, they don't want to have sex until they're ready, but for this guy, well they want to make him happy because he's their one true love, so it'll be okay. And of course nothing bad happens as an after affect of her "gratuitous drug use." Which must mean it's A-Okay! To quote her fully, I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before.

Usually when I take cold medicine I end up all foggy and groggy in the morning. I am not well rested. But! Bella is special and so it's okay for her to use the medicine without any bad side effects. And not only that, but her reaction is not one of guilt for having taken it at all, but a sort of shrugging off, indicating that she would do it again. She's willing to shuck off her morality for Edward.

And when Edward finally shows up,

I flew to the door; I had a little trouble with the simple dead bolt, but I yanked the door open at last, and there he was. All the agitation dissolved as soon as I looked at his face, calm taking its place. I breathed a sigh of relief — yesterday's fears seemed very foolish with him here.

My GOD what mood swing changes when Edward shows up! The only sort of relatable behavior to this that I can think of off the top of my head is the relationship that Alex has with his master Orion in my novels. Alex's life is Orion and basically acts like this whenever Orion gives him attention. Orion and Alex have a master/brain washed slave relationship. The way Bella reacts to Edward makes it seem the same way. She has no free will, no wants or desires beyond Edward. The thing is, Alex at least fought to keep his soul. Bella just handed hers over to Edward without him even needing to speak to her.

To up our creepiness level, they match. Edward is wearing the same clothes that Bella chose. Tan sweater, white shirt and jeans. Something tells me that Edward watched her get dressed and then chose similar clothes. Totally chaste and non-creepy stalkery at all vampire he is. Yup.

All Bella can think about is how she wishes she could look as good as he does in the same clothing.


They start driving, Edward letting Bella drive like he promised. This could either be because it's not important to him, or he wants her to believe she has some control in their relationship, or I'm looking into this too much.

Still they drive and Edward wants to know if anyone knows they're together.

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" he asked.

"Nope."

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" He seemed cheered by the idea.

"No, I told her you canceled on me — which is true."

"No one knows you're with me?" Angrily, now.

"That depends… I assume you told Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Bella," he snapped.

I pretended I didn't hear that.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" he demanded when I ignored him.

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly," I reminded him.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me— if you don't come home?" His voice was still angry, and bitingly sarcastic.

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road.

You know, when your date is pissed at you for not telling people where you're going so that he has an incentive to bring you back, then you have issues. And she's more worried about the problems it might cause Edward than her own safety. This is not a good thing. The best thing is, that Edward makes it seem like he doesn't have an incentive now not to rape her. And he's upset about it. He wants her to give him an incentive. But she doesn't care because Edward is just That Much More Important. And so she has to make sure people don't find out that they're hanging together publicly, even if it costs her her life/safety.


Bella's "flaw" of not being able to walk two feet without falling and/or hurting herself is brought up again when they get to the park where they have to hike to Edward's place of choice. It's through a dark forest wrought with terror of tree roots and branches! Any number of things that could send Bella hurtling to her doom of a face plant! Edward helps her, proving that he's once again taking care of her and that she needs to be taken care of. That she's incapable of doing anything by herself.

They reach a meadow which is lovely, until Bella remembers Edward's beauty. Bella turns to him and beckons for Edward to come out into the sunshine.

ANND Cliffhanger.

An actually decent one. GASP

Bella becomes a bad role model.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter twelve pt. 2

Bella continues to lie to people she calls her friends and family. She calls up Jessica to tell her than she canceled her date with Edward to go to Seattle. Apparently she can't tell them -her, Mike or Charlie- that she changed her plans. They now think that she's going to be staying home instead of going out to Seattle, as opposed to what she's really going to be doing, which is going out somewhere with Edward. So if something happens to her and as she has no cell phone, they won't have any idea on how to find her. It's nice that she cares about their well being and happiness. As opposed to Edward. Or what she thinks will keep Edward just to herself. Actually, now that I think about it, this is what Bella is trying to do. Keep Edward to herself. Or Edward is making her think she wants to keep him all to herself.

After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he'd written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice — to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him.

She hasn't signed a legal document. She's not getting married. Technically she's just going out with a friend. Admittedly this friend has threatened her life on several occasions and is utterly stalking her, but still a friend. Still a lot is off here. She has to keep on repeating to herself that Edward wants her to be safe. -Not that he loves or cares for her - but that he wants her to be safe. And mostly from what he's said, safe from him. Also, you have to wonder why she doesn't think about how come he keeps on telling her to be safe. And it can't be because of her "fatal" flaw of being clumsy. We haven't seen her really do anything stupidly clumsy despite what she says. She's able to cook and not kill herself in the kitchen after all. Remember when I said a few chapters ago that something made me really hate this book? I found something else that makes me hate it even more. If possible. Meyers encourages drug use.

I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I'd never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine — the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else.

If you love someone, it's okay to try and kill yourself. That sounds horribly Shakesperean. But really, she admits that she's doing things that she would normally find morally objectionable just so that she'll look good for the guy. It's for Edward, so it's okay. This sort of reasoning makes it seem like if you were to give Bella a gun and say, "Edward wants you to kill someone," she'd do it. Perhaps I'm being a little over dramatic here, but she's actively admitting she's doing something she finds morally objectionable. It's unnecessary and it's done deliberately. The message Meyers here is sending is that for a guy, it's okay to do something you don't think you should normally. And is this one step away from having sex when you're not ready?

Perhaps.

It could seem like that. Sure, they don't want to have sex until they're ready, but for this guy, well they want to make him happy because he's their one true love, so it'll be okay. And of course nothing bad happens as an after affect of her "gratuitous drug use." Which must mean it's A-Okay! To quote her fully, I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before.

Usually when I take cold medicine I end up all foggy and groggy in the morning. I am not well rested. But! Bella is special and so it's okay for her to use the medicine without any bad side effects. And not only that, but her reaction is not one of guilt for having taken it at all, but a sort of shrugging off, indicating that she would do it again. She's willing to shuck off her morality for Edward. And when Edward finally shows up,

because Edward is perfect.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Okay, the real chapter twelve here. Last one was really eleven. Apparently I was trying to get to book over that much quicker. Obviously, it didn't work.


Chapter twelve pt 1: Balancing.

( Read more... )

Complicated yes.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight Chapter eleven: Complications


Out of all the chapters and incidents we've seen so far, they've all been rather disturbing. Bella's utter self interest, Edward's creepy stalkiness, everyone's utter fawning over Bella for no good damn reason. But this chapter, this chapter bothers me the most.

( Read more... )

Continuing on.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight, Chapter ten Part two.

( Meyers shows some Kink )

Ehehe... Sparkly!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Fandom:Twilight
Killers: Alec and Verra
Sue/Stus: Edward and Bella
Author: Stephanie Myers
Note: I actually haven't gotten to the part in the book where Edward sparkles. But that's okay.


Sunlight glistened off Edward's skin like light refracting off of granite. It made his perfection even more unreal. Like Michelangelo's David he was the ultimate in human, in masculine beauty come to life. I could do nothing but stare, my heart just caught in my throat, not knowing what to say. He gave me that half smile of his and I once again realized that he was the one for me.

Suddenly, out of no where, I heard this scream. Edward turned swiftly in its direction and I saw a blur of movement. When it stopped, Edward's head rolled towards my feet. So shocked I couldn't make out a scream.

Standing over the body was a man with a sword. He wore a pleased expression on his face as he looked over the body. All I could see of him was dark hair and pointed ears. He wore jeans and a tee-shirt with combat boots.

A woman stepped out of the woods and started to berate the man, "Alec, you idiot, that was a main character, not a Stu."

"But he sparkled! Vampires don't sparkle!"

"I don't care! He was still a main character."

He threw up his hands. "Fine, fine..." And then he noticed me. We stared at each other, eyes locked. I felt like he could see right into my very soul. That he could see into my soul and was measuring it for worth. "What about her?" he asked his companion.

Shaking her head, she said, "Might as well. If you're going to kill one, you might as well kill the other."

Face lighting up, he pointed a finger at me. A bolt of flame leaped from the finger and headed straight for me and I knew there was nothing I could do to

Twilight, have some.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter ten. Interrogations

( Read more... )

twu lub

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight Chapter 9 "Theory"


This is really an Info-Dump chapter. Basically Bella and Edward are playing twenty questions. Though while Edward is supposed to be asking the questions, it's really Bella who does most of them.

( Read more... )

Okay!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight Chapter eight, pt 2


So, Edward takes Bella to dinner, claiming that she's in shock. He gets her coke and bread sticks and ravioli. After some small talk and the waitress hitting on Edward. We get down to BUSINESS.

But not like that.

Apparently they don't do that until book four. Early on, but not until book four.

After some "Hypothetical" dancing, of hypothetically, do you think someone could read someone's mind." Edward admits to having followed Bella to Port Angeles. This does not bother her. \~/

"I followed you to Port Angeles," he admitted, speaking in a rush. "I've
never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more
troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because
it's you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many
catastrophes." He paused. I wondered if it should bother me that he was
following me; instead I felt a strange surge of pleasure. He stared,
maybe wondering why my lips were curving into an involuntary smile.

You know what? At this point? Bella deserves everything she gets. Unfortunately she doesn't get everything she deserves. \~/\~/\~/ At this point? Any sensible person would be running for the police or doing something so that the wait staff would be alerted into knowing that "hay there's a stalker here."

You're not supposed to be happy or pleased that someone admits to stalking you like this. This IS something that supposed to bother you. Yes, there is something wrong here, you should be worried. Strange surges of pleasure are BAD in general. When it's coming from your stalker? Even more Bad Bad. When it's coming from your stalker who keeps on saying I'm bad for you, you should keep away from me? Even worse. \~/\~/

Look, even EDWARD is wondering why she's so pleased to learn that he's stalking her. Dude, I know you're not the brightest... smartest vampire to ever be undead, but really, cut her loose already.

Bella wants to know why Edward had rescued her, after all, maybe her number had been up at that time. Personally, I never understood the concept of your "number being up" If you're supposed to die when your number is up, then when you die, your number is up. All other times don't count. Edward, still chugging on that "I'm dangerous, no really" train, tells Bella that her number was up the first time they met. And yet, she's not dead.

We learn that Edward keeps track of people by using his mind powers. ""It's harder than it should be — keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before." " A neat trick actually. Fairly standard, but still, always a neat trick. So, he kept tabs on Jessica because "only you could find trouble in Port Angeles". Yup, that's our speshul snowflake Bella. Going off and doing stupid things because Meyers demands it.

He tells her that once he learned that she had separated from Jessica and Angela, he started to look around for Bella in such a way that it wouldn't look obvious that he was looking for her. Then the Rescue and then him saying that he needs her to stay with him so he doesn't go back and kill those guys who were going to do Bad Things to Bella.

They leave after that.

The entire point of this chapter, I believe, is so that Edward and Bella could have some alone time, talk things, where it can be set up that Bella may confront Edward about being a vampire. However, it's done in a completely over-dramatic, making your heroine look utterly moronic, way. The best way for this would have been for Bella and Edward to have run into each other "accidentally". Bella could take that opportunity to corner Edward and drag him to a Starbucks and quiz him. Thus, not making her two friends seem like uncaring idiots as well. It would have been a more natural way of meeting and Edward wouldn't have to admit that he was a creepy stalker. Even if it doesn't bother Bella. She's very "Okay!"

Edward: I stalk you.
Bella: Okay!
Edward: I'm dangerous and want to kill you.
Bella: Okay!
Edward: I'm an evil vampire.
Bella: Okay!
Edward: I'm really a woman.
Bella: Okay! Can we have teh sexxors now?
Edward: Not until the fourth book.
Bella: *sighs* Okay.

Die Bella. Die.

(no subject)

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight. Port Angeles Chapter Eight


So, there's a girl's night out. Jessica, Bella and Angela are out to Port Angeles. Bella is happy to be going out with the girls, the estrogen giving her a rush. However, there is still some condensation from Bella on Jessica. "We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with." If Bella was really one of them, she wouldn't find the rock songs whiny. This, I think, is Meyer's stepping through here. As a parent and thus removed from Bella's generation, it's likely that she would find today's music whiny. However, as Bella is part of her generation, it's not likely that she would. It would have been nice to see exactly what sort of music, which bands/singers that Bella is finding to be whiny, because "Whiny rock songs" can encompass a great deal of music, depending on the person. Is Elvis whiny rock? The Beatles? Bon-Jovi? This is a chance here to give us insight on what sort of person Jessica is and what sort of person Bella is by exploring their musical tastes. By just saying "whiny rock songs", we learn absolutely nothing. Also, "jabbering about boys" makes Jessica seem shallow (and from Bella that's really saying something yes?)and air-headed. Like she doesn't approve of what Jessica is doing and is just there to use her as a ride to get out of Forks or to keep her happy. It doesn't seem like she's paying attention, more like smiling and nodding. Plus the fact that Jessica's choice of subject matter makes her seem like all she cares about is boys. We never hear her talk about anything else really. She doesn't seem to have any other facet to her personality.

Angela, on the other hand, isn't too happy about going out with "chess club Eric", the guy Bella suggested she ask out for the Spring dance. She's "lukewarm". So, Jessica, as she's all about guys tries to get Angela to say what her type is, since Eric is not.

At the junior's section of the shopping mall, Jessica and Angela are amazed to learn that Bella has never gone to a dance.

The dance was billed as semiformal, and we weren't exactly sure what that
meant. Both Jessica and Angela seemed surprised and almost disbelieving when I told them I'd never been to a dance in Phoenix.

"Didn't you ever go with a boyfriend or something?" Jess asked dubiously as we walked through the front doors of the store.

"Really," I tried to convince her, not wanting to confess my dancing problems. "I've never had a boyfriend or anything close. I didn't go out much."

"Why not?" Jessica demanded.

"No one asked me," I answered honestly.

First of all, this makes Bella into the virginal princess. She's pure and unsullied, thus making her purer for Edward's True Love. This is something that a mother would want for her kids and is being projected into Bella. It's not that I'm saying that Bella should have already had sex, but it would have been okay for her to have some relationship experience. Especially since she's about seventeen in this book. She says that she never had a boyfriend or anything and it seems to indicate it's because she's afraid of her klutziness, but guys would have seen her at times other than the dances, and she hasn't proved to be very klutzy at all. I find it hard to believe that no one asked her, especially the ways she looks and the fact that she doesn't appear to be a complete and total social idiot. I'm sure she had friends back in Phoenix, even if she's too self-centered to mention them.

However, by not having the boyfriend, by not having the previous relationship experience it'll make what she has with Edward, supposedly, that much more special. But for me, how can you know if something is the best in the world, if you've never tried anything else?

To move on, it seems like Tyler is telling everyone that Bella is going to the dance with him.
And this is why Lauren, designated bitch queen, doesn't like Bella. Once this is cleared up, I'm certain that Lauren will come to team Bella.

Bella manages to ask if the Cullen's go camping often. Angela says that they do whenever the weather is nice. This must be their convenient excuse of how come they're not out and about town when it's sunny out. Of course, it still doesn't make sense because what about the summer or you know partly cloudy days? Or if it is cloudy and then all of a sudden, it becomes sunny? And then cloudy... and then.. well, you know... act like weather?

But as this is not my reality, I'm sure this isn't a problem.

Finally, Bella and the other two girls separate, Bella saying she needs to go to find a book store. This is the Convenient Excuse for what happens next.

See, Bella goes off into the wrong part of town. She realizes that she's headed in the wrong place and instead of back tracking decides to go around the block. This allows her to get into trouble when four guys surround her. But before anything can happen, Bella is rescued when she darts out to stop a car. The car's owner does a James Bond maneuver and lets her into the passenger seat.

The car's owner is unsurprisingly, Edward.

Edward angry.

Edward wish to smash.

Edward suddenly is wearing purple pants and has turned green.

Somehow that's a more interesting picture than what he's been described as earlier.

ANYWAY, Bella is in no way surprised that Edward has rescued her. It could, however, be the shock from almost being attacked and then having to distract Edward from being so angry that he almost kills something.

He then takes her to dinner.

No. Really.

Once he gets calmed down enough he magically knows where Angela and Jessica were supposed to meet Bella. And they are conveniently finished eating. Edward mind-whammies them into saying that it's okay and that Edward can take Bella home.

I'm suddenly struck by the lack of cell phones. Jessica and Angela are relieved to see Bella, but they never tried to call her on the phone. No one has mentioned cell phones at all. I mean, calling would have made things so much easier. It would have ruined the story somewhat, but it would have been more realistic.

Still, her friends instead of looking for her apparently ate dinner. Nice friends they are. Eating instead of waiting or calling to make sure she's okay when she doesn't show up on time. They just let Edward whiz her away as if nothing had happened.

More later. This is a good break.

Good writing, bad writing.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Twilight, chapter 7 Nightmare pt.2

Bella goes to sleep. She doesn't dream because she's very very tired. She wakes up happy. Yay. She talks to her dad thinking about how she can see what attracted her mother to him. Yay. Whoopie. She eats breakfast and watches the dust motes. Seriously. "I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window." My cat does that. Though he watches motes and not moats. I don't have a moat in my apartment. But really, Meyer's has been trying to present Bella as an intelligent young woman, but what does she do at breakfast? She watches the dust motes. Not read a book or the newspaper, but stare out into space like a cat. It makes her look rather air-headed as she's perfectly entertained watching the dust motes.

She goes to school early and works on some Trig problems, even though she said she finished her homework earlier. She ends up doodling dark eyes though. Edward has dark eyes. Do you think there could be a connection? Mike shows up and is friendly with her, tucking a strand of hair that's got red in it (only in the sun) and it makes Bella uncomfortable. Mike asks Bella out on a date and Bella doesn't want to because of Edward, but instead she says that it's because Jessica likes him and they're going to the dance. Mike acts like he's never realized this before. I'm not to worried though, as Edward and Bella are fated to be together, it's likely that Mike and Jessica will end up together too. Though it won't be as good as Bella and Edward.

Jessica wants Bella to go with her to Port Angeles to go shopping. Lauren and Angela are going too. Since Lauren is going Bella is undecided. She does want to go to get out of Forks.

At lunch however the Cullens aren't there.

lost in my own frenzy of anticipation to notice much of what she said. I was painfully eager to see not just him but all the Cullens — to compare them with the new
suspicions that plagued my mind. As I crossed the threshold of the cafeteria, I felt the first true tingle of fear slither down my spine and settle in my stomach. Would they be able to know what I was thinking? And then a different feeling jolted through me — would Edward be waiting to
sit with me again?

As was my routine, I glanced first toward the Cullens' table. A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. With dwindling hope, my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made us late — but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Desolation
hit me with crippling strength.

She's getting a wee bit too obsessed here. She shouldn't be emotionally crippled because someone isn't there. Especially someone she barely knows. Curious or afraid maybe, especially if she wants to know if the Cullens are vampires, but not desolate with dwindling hope. The emotions are too strong here. There's no way she could have time to form such a strong attachment. It feels like a crush. A very desperate crush, but expanded out into almost creepy/stalkery proportions.

It's not a natural reaction and seems forced. Almost as if Meyers is forcing Bella to feel so desolate and empty by not letting her form any other interests or attachments. With no personality she can be shifted to what Meyers thinks is important and given the emotions, not letting them develop over time or naturally. There's no questioning for Bella over Edward. She's happy with him and so miserable without him that she'd do anything to be with him. In a way that reminds me of an abusive relationship. Sometimes, even if the relationship is highly abusive, the person will stay in it because they don't have anything else. Bella doesn't have the chance to have anything else so she clings to Edward and his non-existence.

In fact the rest of the chapter is immaterial because all Bella does is mope about the lack of Edward and the Cullens. Nothing else important happens. I could mention Mike taking Jessica out to dinner but Bella doesn't see it as important. Just the lack of Edwardness. Everything else is just air filler.

He's Dangerous.. but so what?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

( In which Bella shows us she's an idiot )

She wasn't dumb at the beach.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter Six: Scary Stories

( Read more... )

Drinking game. Bad liver.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Drinking Game!

*Every time Edward sends a mixed message
*Every time Bella describes Edward,
*a drink for each adjective used
*Two drinks if it's really silly
*Bella is klutzy for no good reason
*Charlie shows no spine
*Bella's mom flails and/or gets panicky
*The truck's gas millage is mentioned.
*Someone does something that should make it obvious that they are some sort of supernatural creature?
*Somebody sparkles or "dazzles" someone?
*Anytime Edward does something stalkery.
*Anytime Bella realizes how wrong her behavior is but goes with it anyway?
*Anytime Bella's classmates fawn over her?
*Anytime Bella mentions what she had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever
*Anytime Bella complains over things she shouldn't be complaining about
* Every time Bella mentions what class she went to
* Whenever Bella finds something extremely odd about Edward erotic?
** Doubles if it's something really weird, like the aforementioned stalking or his elbows or something.
* Every time Bella says she isn't worthy of Edward
* Every time Bella complains about the weather
* Every time Bella complains about Forks
*Bella thinks these people are totally below her
*the book contradicts itself
*something is introduced, and then not explained until much later, if at all
*Every time Bella is surprised by her own actions.
*Anytime there's proof that this is an alternate reality.



( SHNOOKERED! )

We shouldn't hang out together so lets get something to eat!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter four, Invitation

( Contradictions are okay! Even if you don't get it! )

more twilight!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Phenomenon Chapter Three

( Read more... )

In which Bella continues to whine

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Chapter two: Open Book

( Read my pigeons! )

Twilight Begins

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I blame canadianevil for making me start this. =D



Our new book is called Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. It has the following summary:

Summary: Up–Headstrong, sun-loving, 17-year-old Bella declines her mom's
invitation to move to Florida, and instead reluctantly opts to move to her dad's cabin in
the dreary, rainy town of Forks, WA. She becomes intrigued with Edward Cullen, a distant,
stylish, and disarmingly handsome senior, who is also a vampire. When he reveals that his
specific clan hunts wildlife instead of humans, Bella deduces that she is safe from his
blood-sucking instincts and therefore free to fall hopelessly in love with him. The
feeling is mutual, and the resulting volatile romance smolders as they attempt to hide
Edward's identity from her family and the rest of the school. Meyer adds an eerie new
twist to the mismatched, star-crossed lovers theme: predator falls for prey, human falls
for vampire. This tension strips away any pretense readers may have about the everyday
teen romance novel, and kissing, touching, and talking take on an entirely new meaning
when one small mistake could be life-threatening. Bella and Edward's struggle to make
their relationship work becomes a struggle for survival, especially when vampires from an
outside clan infiltrate the Cullen territory and head straight for her. As a result, the
novel's danger-factor skyrockets as the excitement of secret love and hushed affection
morphs into a terrifying race to stay alive. Realistic, subtle, succinct, and easy to
follow, Twilight will have readers dying to sink their teeth into it.

Let us look at this. It starts so well. We have our protagonist going somewhere she admittedly doesn't want to go even though she has the option to go to Florida where she'd be much happier. This will allow her to angst about how horrible her life is at this new place where there's no sun and stuff.

Ten internet cookies say I'm right.

Never realized that falling in love with someone is an option. Also the prey-hunter romance is old.

There's a short preface that seems to actually take place later on in the book, as it talks about having been to Forks for several months now. It involves a first person narrator talking about being in a room about to die. The Narrator doesn't appear to be tied down in anyway and is in a long room waiting for the hunter to come and kill them.

"Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I
loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something."

I never really understood that particular sentiment. I think it would be more noble to try and fight for your life than just stand there waiting for someone to kill you.


Chapter one: "First Sight"
( Read more... )