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kippurcritiquesbadbooks2012-01-20 08:42 pm
kippurbird.livejournal.com) wrote in kippurcritiquesbadbooks2012-01-20 08:42 pm
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Meat's what's for dinner.
Chapter Five: Aftermath
The title indicates that it should be either about the aftermath of a. the Werecat King's appearance or b. the battle. Probably about how things are being dealt with and what Eragon is doing to make sure things move along and stuff like that.
Buuut instead that doesn't really happened. This is a chapter that really should have been cut. It gives us nothing beyond a few weird bits of characterization in regards to Eragon. I say weird in that Eragon really seems to be flip-flopping on the whole what he eats thing.
It begins with Eragon gratefully getting off of Saphira... in a way that I'm not really sure how it works... Eragon groaned and leaned back against Saphira. Bracing his hands on his knees, he slid down over her bumpy scales until he was sitting on the ground, then stretched out his legs in front of him.
I'm assuming he's on her back and he's sliding down her scales I don't know why he's doing that he's never gotten off of her like that before didn't he just generally get off the dragon instead of sliding off of her... *sighs* Eragon doesn't need to be inventive on how he gets off the damn dragon, just let him get off the damn dragon with something like, "Eragon dismounted Saphira" because getting off the dragon shouldn't be such a big deal. If you know what I mean. In any case I don't think she cares how it's done.
*shuffles off*
Eragon, once he's on the ground, declares that he's hungry. They're in the castle (not keep's) courtyard where the peons are cleaning up things like rubble never mind the fact that the dragon could probably be of great assistance in that effort. They're just the background event.
Roran calls after Eragon with an "Oi" I expected to hear the word, "wanker" after that. Considering that Eragon was getting off Saphira... that really doesn't help matters. Roran catches up with Eragon, Angela (why) a few steps behind him. They discuss what Roran's going to do, which is to "help secure the city and the prisoners". Something actually useful. Then... they compliment each other on how well they did in battle.
Um yay?
Eragon asks Angela what she meant by "cheep cheep". Of course it's a story for another time because they're ALL so busy right at that particular moment. And it must be SO important that she not tell them Stop creating mysteries for no reason. Please. If she said something like "another time, I have to go do this important matter right away and can't stop to talk" that's be different. But she doesn't. She stops. She talks. And then she says that she has to go check on a potion and find a werecat. Who? Solembum's mom.
Anyone care?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Roran wants to know what Eragon is up to. Saphira says that they're going to get food. I have a bit of a problem here, because of the casualness of Saphira talking to Roran. In what I can recall from the past, Saphira doesn't lightly talk to other people, especially if Eragon is around. And they were trying not to talk too much because of badguys... but I guess since they've won the battle they don't need to worry about that part? In any case, it usually is an unusual thing for Saphira to talk to someone and they're usually surprised about it.
Here it's just as if she's part of the conversation.
No problem.
That done, Eragon remounts Saphira so that they can go eat some meat.
*sighs*
I really am a terrible person.
But they fly away up into the sky with some throbbing veins in the wings. As Saphira lifted her wings overhead, Eragon could see the web of purplish veins that pulsed therein, each one becoming a hollow worm track as the flow of blood subsided between the beats of her mighty heart.
I do not think that is the image you are looking for. I don't even see why that has to be an image you are looking for. I mean worm tracks? That's not what you're thinking of when you think of wings. Worm tracks and wings generally mean, if I were to use such an image, that you're dead. (*Oh happy thoughts*)
Meh.
They fly up into the sky through the thick layer of smoke that hung over Belatona like a blanket of hurt, anger, and sorrow. Blanket of DEATH. DEAAATH. DEAAAAATTTHHH. DEAAAATTH.
DEAAAATH
eheheheh....
DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH.
Eragon looks out. There's a storm coming. It's really pretty and apparently moving in really fast. Eragon feels privileged to be able to ride a dragon. There's a storm coming in. This is unsurprising this is the same area-ish were Eragon had the same problems in book one with storms and closing dragon wings.
He lands in the camps and it's a bit of a rough landing, so Saphira apologizes. Eragon does not ask if she's okay or not. She might have hurt herself. So, shouldn't you ask if she's okay. Nope. She says she tried to make it a soft landing and Eragon condescendingly says "I know." No concern for her welfare.
We skip merrily along to Katrina showing up, visibly pregnant, at least as long as the wind is pressing the clothes across her belly. It's a really weird image that I have in my head. The lone woman standing by herself, the wind whipping at her hair, pressing her clothes across her body, arms crossed tightly across her chest perhaps or clutching some token as she gazes out longingly waiting for her man to come home and be all right.
Which is what she wants to know, is Roran okay? Well, she asks "what news?"
Eragon tells her that there were werecats oh yeah, Roran's fine. No other news. Katrina says that she felt something with her magic ring an hour ago ... So they finished the battle, greeted the werecats and everything within an hour? Amazing.
Brushing off her concern with a he's fine, just some bumps and bruises he can tell you about when you see him. She seems to know that she's getting the brush off. Katrina’s look of concern intensified. Then, with visible struggle, she smiled. “At least you’re safe. Both of you.”
Yeah. You go Katrina. You know you're being treated like dirt. And you know what, I bet you know you can't say anything against Eragon because he might hurt you like he's hurt all these others. I bet you know he hurt your father too and lied to you about him being dead. Yup.
After that Eragon and Saphira go off to the mess tents and we have our first instance of meat and boy is a doozy!
It's interesting, because he's gone a bit of a 360 and then something on his meat habits. It went from a normal person's eating of meat in book one. To becoming a vegetarian in book two. To going back to meat, in theory, on special occasions or just using it as an excuse. To now, apparently tearing into it like an animal or hungry savage. And the fact that Saphira has to ask him if it's good and scrumptious is even weirder. Why is this piece of meat - this meal of savageness - shown here? Where has Eragon's manners gone?
It could be said that this is full proof that Eragon has come into his full savage self that we've seen him turning into over the course of the series. He no longer has even the pretense of manners and caring of what others think. It's what he wants and how he wants and yes, it is scrumptious and good.
The title indicates that it should be either about the aftermath of a. the Werecat King's appearance or b. the battle. Probably about how things are being dealt with and what Eragon is doing to make sure things move along and stuff like that.
Buuut instead that doesn't really happened. This is a chapter that really should have been cut. It gives us nothing beyond a few weird bits of characterization in regards to Eragon. I say weird in that Eragon really seems to be flip-flopping on the whole what he eats thing.
It begins with Eragon gratefully getting off of Saphira... in a way that I'm not really sure how it works... Eragon groaned and leaned back against Saphira. Bracing his hands on his knees, he slid down over her bumpy scales until he was sitting on the ground, then stretched out his legs in front of him.
I'm assuming he's on her back and he's sliding down her scales I don't know why he's doing that he's never gotten off of her like that before didn't he just generally get off the dragon instead of sliding off of her... *sighs* Eragon doesn't need to be inventive on how he gets off the damn dragon, just let him get off the damn dragon with something like, "Eragon dismounted Saphira" because getting off the dragon shouldn't be such a big deal. If you know what I mean. In any case I don't think she cares how it's done.
*shuffles off*
Eragon, once he's on the ground, declares that he's hungry. They're in the castle (not keep's) courtyard where the peons are cleaning up things like rubble never mind the fact that the dragon could probably be of great assistance in that effort. They're just the background event.
Roran calls after Eragon with an "Oi" I expected to hear the word, "wanker" after that. Considering that Eragon was getting off Saphira... that really doesn't help matters. Roran catches up with Eragon, Angela (why) a few steps behind him. They discuss what Roran's going to do, which is to "help secure the city and the prisoners". Something actually useful. Then... they compliment each other on how well they did in battle.
Um yay?
Eragon asks Angela what she meant by "cheep cheep". Of course it's a story for another time because they're ALL so busy right at that particular moment. And it must be SO important that she not tell them Stop creating mysteries for no reason. Please. If she said something like "another time, I have to go do this important matter right away and can't stop to talk" that's be different. But she doesn't. She stops. She talks. And then she says that she has to go check on a potion and find a werecat. Who? Solembum's mom.
Anyone care?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Roran wants to know what Eragon is up to. Saphira says that they're going to get food. I have a bit of a problem here, because of the casualness of Saphira talking to Roran. In what I can recall from the past, Saphira doesn't lightly talk to other people, especially if Eragon is around. And they were trying not to talk too much because of badguys... but I guess since they've won the battle they don't need to worry about that part? In any case, it usually is an unusual thing for Saphira to talk to someone and they're usually surprised about it.
Here it's just as if she's part of the conversation.
No problem.
That done, Eragon remounts Saphira so that they can go eat some meat.
*sighs*
I really am a terrible person.
But they fly away up into the sky with some throbbing veins in the wings. As Saphira lifted her wings overhead, Eragon could see the web of purplish veins that pulsed therein, each one becoming a hollow worm track as the flow of blood subsided between the beats of her mighty heart.
I do not think that is the image you are looking for. I don't even see why that has to be an image you are looking for. I mean worm tracks? That's not what you're thinking of when you think of wings. Worm tracks and wings generally mean, if I were to use such an image, that you're dead. (*Oh happy thoughts*)
Meh.
They fly up into the sky through the thick layer of smoke that hung over Belatona like a blanket of hurt, anger, and sorrow. Blanket of DEATH. DEAAATH. DEAAAAATTTHHH. DEAAAATTH.
DEAAAATH
eheheheh....
DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH.
Eragon looks out. There's a storm coming. It's really pretty and apparently moving in really fast. Eragon feels privileged to be able to ride a dragon. There's a storm coming in. This is unsurprising this is the same area-ish were Eragon had the same problems in book one with storms and closing dragon wings.
He lands in the camps and it's a bit of a rough landing, so Saphira apologizes. Eragon does not ask if she's okay or not. She might have hurt herself. So, shouldn't you ask if she's okay. Nope. She says she tried to make it a soft landing and Eragon condescendingly says "I know." No concern for her welfare.
We skip merrily along to Katrina showing up, visibly pregnant, at least as long as the wind is pressing the clothes across her belly. It's a really weird image that I have in my head. The lone woman standing by herself, the wind whipping at her hair, pressing her clothes across her body, arms crossed tightly across her chest perhaps or clutching some token as she gazes out longingly waiting for her man to come home and be all right.
Which is what she wants to know, is Roran okay? Well, she asks "what news?"
Eragon tells her that there were werecats oh yeah, Roran's fine. No other news. Katrina says that she felt something with her magic ring an hour ago ... So they finished the battle, greeted the werecats and everything within an hour? Amazing.
Brushing off her concern with a he's fine, just some bumps and bruises he can tell you about when you see him. She seems to know that she's getting the brush off. Katrina’s look of concern intensified. Then, with visible struggle, she smiled. “At least you’re safe. Both of you.”
Yeah. You go Katrina. You know you're being treated like dirt. And you know what, I bet you know you can't say anything against Eragon because he might hurt you like he's hurt all these others. I bet you know he hurt your father too and lied to you about him being dead. Yup.
After that Eragon and Saphira go off to the mess tents and we have our first instance of meat and boy is a doozy!
They parted, and Eragon and Saphira made their way to one of the mess tents close to the Varden’s cookfires. There they gorged themselves on meat and mead while the wind howled around them and bursts of rain pummeled the sides of the flapping tent.
As Eragon bit into a slab of roast pork belly, Saphira said, Is it good? Is it scrumptious?
“Mmm,” said Eragon, rivulets of juice running down his chin.
It's interesting, because he's gone a bit of a 360 and then something on his meat habits. It went from a normal person's eating of meat in book one. To becoming a vegetarian in book two. To going back to meat, in theory, on special occasions or just using it as an excuse. To now, apparently tearing into it like an animal or hungry savage. And the fact that Saphira has to ask him if it's good and scrumptious is even weirder. Why is this piece of meat - this meal of savageness - shown here? Where has Eragon's manners gone?
It could be said that this is full proof that Eragon has come into his full savage self that we've seen him turning into over the course of the series. He no longer has even the pretense of manners and caring of what others think. It's what he wants and how he wants and yes, it is scrumptious and good.
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LOL at the meat part. Ugh. I think I'm put off eating meat for a while. XD
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As Eragon bit into a slab of roast pork belly, Saphira said, Is it good? Is it scrumptious? Preciouss...
Gaze upon the world's most hideous writing!
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I think.
But yeah.
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Or something.
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Figured I'd at least warn people in case they're squeamish...
Sooooo, two things. First is the...interesting phrasing used to describe her wings and stuff. purple veins and whatnot. Not that bad, but I hadn't noticed it before.
Second, this is the part I mentioned you should look out for (without actually telling you what to look for). Yes, first he swore off meat a book or two ago, then it was "if absolutely necessary" or maybe even "well, a little bit isn't that bad" kind of situation, and now this. This HAS to be intentional for some reason; there is no way PaoPao couldn't notice this after making such a huge deal about the vegetarian thing. Anyway...
Tying back to your comment about meat and homosexuality or gender...issues, possibly latent in the character: he's going on about a thick juicy piece of meat in his mouth, with its...juices dribbling down his chin. Again, perhaps it's nothing, although given the vegetarian thing, there is a lot of attention being drawn to it. But combined with your meat = male possibility, especially after the purple-vein prose... *shudder* I bet he would be a huge hit at Dragon*Con in some circles.
Perhaps the warning want warranted, but I don't know how filthy everyone else's minds are, in case such an image would scar someone or something.
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I just find it amazing how little Paolini has improved. I've read the first two books and couldn't muster up the willpower to buy the others. At this point I'm not sure if it's worth it.
I'm confused about Eragon's attitude towards meat. O_o The second book was big on vegetarianism and how magical and wonderful the elves are. Now he's back to munching meat like his spoiled farm boy self? For what reason? That's partly why I can't connect with Eragon... I don't understand how the hell his mind works. Does he even have one? Funny how Saphira knows him best but doesn't comment on his sudden change of diet.
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Paolini, and therefor Eragon's, stance on meat seems to wibble wobble worse than Marvel and DC's continuity combined. It feels awfully like Paolini's trying to please his fan base. They complain about the elves being to righteous about the gods and lack there of so he puts in a dwarf god. The elves are too... vegetarian goodness so he takes away that from Eragon. And now Eragon's devolved into down right savagery.
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Oh that's bad. Paolini's going for "it looks cool", and forgetting about the whole sense-making thing. What does a blanket of hurt, anger and sorrow look like?
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Yeah, yeah, I'm really reaching for it, I know. I couldn't resist being stupid. XD
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All this time eating and never once has he gone to the bathroom. He must be horribly constipated, four books in. I expect him to be groaning in pain in the middle of battle, wishing he could drop a load so bad, just so it'd stop hurting. That's why he REALLY became a vegetarian. Fiber! Then he still couldn't take a shit, except that one time during the dragon ceremony where he shit in front of everyone... er, I mean, he shed half of his humanity, which made him think he was fine so he went back to an all-meat diet later on.
I know most stories never show that bit because there's no need to. It's rarely interesting, it's kind of disgusting, and everyone assumes it happens but considering how boring these books are, I'd be more excited to read about Eragon taking a dump than watching him "free the kingdoms from tyrannical rule." It'd certainly be more realistic.
Roran calls after Eragon with an "Oi" I expected to hear the word, "wanker" after that
I'd be much happier if he had called him a wanker. I'd accept Paolini's decisions if EVERY character in the book, including Saphira, called Eragon a wanker. It wouldn't be tongue-in-cheek enough but it'd make up for some of it.
I've recently been reading the first book in the Complete Calvin & Hobbes and thinking about why it was such a great strip. For one, everyone frequently disagrees with him and call him out for being dumb or frustrating. Second, Hobbes may or may not be an imaginary friend but the reason he's such a great character is that he always has a reason for when he disagrees with Calvin and it's so perfectly logical and realistic. If he's imaginary, it's also Calvin's internal excuses for why Hobbes doesn't actually do some of the things Calvin says he does or wants him to do (such as eating people.) They frequently have arguments and sometimes Calvin looks to Hobbes for advice. Even when Hobbes is correct, it's not necessarily for the right reasons.
If Saphira and Eragon interacted like Calvin and Hobbes did, we'd have a much better series. Interestingly enough, in the introduction to book one Bill Watterson said that Calvin and Hobbes are actually two sides to Bill Watterson's personality and opinions, which is probably why they feel so realistic and plausible.
No concern for her welfare.
Silly Kippur. Don't you know that dragons are like airplanes? They feel nothing unless a terrorist, I mean, imperial trooper attacks them. Wait, sorry. Not even then.
Honestly, give the man a magical talking hang-glider or a magical, talking, flying boat, with guns attached, and it'd be more unique and interesting than a dragon at this point.
Yeah. You go Katrina. You know you're being treated like dirt.
That would be a more interesting story too, honestly. As long as she was portrayed intelligently, following Katrina's POV with this horrible brother-in-law could be really dramatic. Would she worry he'll influence her husband and her child? Would it put a strain on her relationship with her husband? Would she ever try to get vengeance for her father? Is she in a perpetual state of fear for her own life and possibly her child's?
“Mmm,” said Eragon, rivulets of juice running down his chin.
To be fair, I think he was just trying to emphasize how good it was or how hungry that Eragon was. I'm a bit of a sloppy eater, so I've had stuff like that happen. But considering it's all meat juice, it does simply come off as savagery, especially since he has a predator asking him how delicious the pig's belly is, which certainly conjures up images of wild animals tearing into their prey.
Plus, yeah, the veins and then the meat juices? My brain very much went into the gutter but it is usually in the gutter so...
He really needs to consider loaves of bread and cheese more often.
I think the real reason Paolini dropped the vegetarianism is because it made him think more about the vegetables and other vegetation inhabiting his world, considering it's a pseudo-medieval other-world. He didn't want to have to deal with that, when meat is so much easier. That's my theory, anyway. :P