[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
I blame [livejournal.com profile] canadianevil for making me start this. =D



Our new book is called Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. It has the following summary:

Summary: Up–Headstrong, sun-loving, 17-year-old Bella declines her mom's
invitation to move to Florida, and instead reluctantly opts to move to her dad's cabin in
the dreary, rainy town of Forks, WA. She becomes intrigued with Edward Cullen, a distant,
stylish, and disarmingly handsome senior, who is also a vampire. When he reveals that his
specific clan hunts wildlife instead of humans, Bella deduces that she is safe from his
blood-sucking instincts and therefore free to fall hopelessly in love with him. The
feeling is mutual, and the resulting volatile romance smolders as they attempt to hide
Edward's identity from her family and the rest of the school. Meyer adds an eerie new
twist to the mismatched, star-crossed lovers theme: predator falls for prey, human falls
for vampire. This tension strips away any pretense readers may have about the everyday
teen romance novel, and kissing, touching, and talking take on an entirely new meaning
when one small mistake could be life-threatening. Bella and Edward's struggle to make
their relationship work becomes a struggle for survival, especially when vampires from an
outside clan infiltrate the Cullen territory and head straight for her. As a result, the
novel's danger-factor skyrockets as the excitement of secret love and hushed affection
morphs into a terrifying race to stay alive. Realistic, subtle, succinct, and easy to
follow, Twilight will have readers dying to sink their teeth into it.



Let us look at this. It starts so well. We have our protagonist going somewhere she admittedly doesn't want to go even though she has the option to go to Florida where she'd be much happier. This will allow her to angst about how horrible her life is at this new place where there's no sun and stuff.

Ten internet cookies say I'm right.

Never realized that falling in love with someone is an option. Also the prey-hunter romance is old.

There's a short preface that seems to actually take place later on in the book, as it talks about having been to Forks for several months now. It involves a first person narrator talking about being in a room about to die. The Narrator doesn't appear to be tied down in anyway and is in a long room waiting for the hunter to come and kill them.

"Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I
loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something."

I never really understood that particular sentiment. I think it would be more noble to try and fight for your life than just stand there waiting for someone to kill you.


Chapter one: "First Sight"
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[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Drinking Game!

*Every time Edward sends a mixed message
*Every time Bella describes Edward,
*a drink for each adjective used
*Two drinks if it's really silly
*Bella is klutzy for no good reason
*Charlie shows no spine
*Bella's mom flails and/or gets panicky
*The truck's gas millage is mentioned.
*Someone does something that should make it obvious that they are some sort of supernatural creature?
*Somebody sparkles or "dazzles" someone?
*Anytime Edward does something stalkery.
*Anytime Bella realizes how wrong her behavior is but goes with it anyway?
*Anytime Bella's classmates fawn over her?
*Anytime Bella mentions what she had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever
*Anytime Bella complains over things she shouldn't be complaining about
* Every time Bella mentions what class she went to
* Whenever Bella finds something extremely odd about Edward erotic?
** Doubles if it's something really weird, like the aforementioned stalking or his elbows or something.
* Every time Bella says she isn't worthy of Edward
* Every time Bella complains about the weather
* Every time Bella complains about Forks
*Bella thinks these people are totally below her
*the book contradicts itself
*something is introduced, and then not explained until much later, if at all
*Every time Bella is surprised by her own actions.
*Anytime there's proof that this is an alternate reality.



SHNOOKERED! )
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Twilight, chapter 7 Nightmare pt.2

Bella goes to sleep. She doesn't dream because she's very very tired. She wakes up happy. Yay. She talks to her dad thinking about how she can see what attracted her mother to him. Yay. Whoopie. She eats breakfast and watches the dust motes. Seriously. "I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window." My cat does that. Though he watches motes and not moats. I don't have a moat in my apartment. But really, Meyer's has been trying to present Bella as an intelligent young woman, but what does she do at breakfast? She watches the dust motes. Not read a book or the newspaper, but stare out into space like a cat. It makes her look rather air-headed as she's perfectly entertained watching the dust motes.

She goes to school early and works on some Trig problems, even though she said she finished her homework earlier. She ends up doodling dark eyes though. Edward has dark eyes. Do you think there could be a connection? Mike shows up and is friendly with her, tucking a strand of hair that's got red in it (only in the sun) and it makes Bella uncomfortable. Mike asks Bella out on a date and Bella doesn't want to because of Edward, but instead she says that it's because Jessica likes him and they're going to the dance. Mike acts like he's never realized this before. I'm not to worried though, as Edward and Bella are fated to be together, it's likely that Mike and Jessica will end up together too. Though it won't be as good as Bella and Edward.

Jessica wants Bella to go with her to Port Angeles to go shopping. Lauren and Angela are going too. Since Lauren is going Bella is undecided. She does want to go to get out of Forks.

At lunch however the Cullens aren't there.

lost in my own frenzy of anticipation to notice much of what she said. I was painfully eager to see not just him but all the Cullens — to compare them with the new
suspicions that plagued my mind. As I crossed the threshold of the cafeteria, I felt the first true tingle of fear slither down my spine and settle in my stomach. Would they be able to know what I was thinking? And then a different feeling jolted through me — would Edward be waiting to
sit with me again?

As was my routine, I glanced first toward the Cullens' table. A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. With dwindling hope, my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made us late — but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Desolation
hit me with crippling strength.


She's getting a wee bit too obsessed here. She shouldn't be emotionally crippled because someone isn't there. Especially someone she barely knows. Curious or afraid maybe, especially if she wants to know if the Cullens are vampires, but not desolate with dwindling hope. The emotions are too strong here. There's no way she could have time to form such a strong attachment. It feels like a crush. A very desperate crush, but expanded out into almost creepy/stalkery proportions.

It's not a natural reaction and seems forced. Almost as if Meyers is forcing Bella to feel so desolate and empty by not letting her form any other interests or attachments. With no personality she can be shifted to what Meyers thinks is important and given the emotions, not letting them develop over time or naturally. There's no questioning for Bella over Edward. She's happy with him and so miserable without him that she'd do anything to be with him. In a way that reminds me of an abusive relationship. Sometimes, even if the relationship is highly abusive, the person will stay in it because they don't have anything else. Bella doesn't have the chance to have anything else so she clings to Edward and his non-existence.

In fact the rest of the chapter is immaterial because all Bella does is mope about the lack of Edward and the Cullens. Nothing else important happens. I could mention Mike taking Jessica out to dinner but Bella doesn't see it as important. Just the lack of Edwardness. Everything else is just air filler.
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Twilight. Port Angeles Chapter Eight


So, there's a girl's night out. Jessica, Bella and Angela are out to Port Angeles. Bella is happy to be going out with the girls, the estrogen giving her a rush. However, there is still some condensation from Bella on Jessica. "We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with." If Bella was really one of them, she wouldn't find the rock songs whiny. This, I think, is Meyer's stepping through here. As a parent and thus removed from Bella's generation, it's likely that she would find today's music whiny. However, as Bella is part of her generation, it's not likely that she would. It would have been nice to see exactly what sort of music, which bands/singers that Bella is finding to be whiny, because "Whiny rock songs" can encompass a great deal of music, depending on the person. Is Elvis whiny rock? The Beatles? Bon-Jovi? This is a chance here to give us insight on what sort of person Jessica is and what sort of person Bella is by exploring their musical tastes. By just saying "whiny rock songs", we learn absolutely nothing. Also, "jabbering about boys" makes Jessica seem shallow (and from Bella that's really saying something yes?)and air-headed. Like she doesn't approve of what Jessica is doing and is just there to use her as a ride to get out of Forks or to keep her happy. It doesn't seem like she's paying attention, more like smiling and nodding. Plus the fact that Jessica's choice of subject matter makes her seem like all she cares about is boys. We never hear her talk about anything else really. She doesn't seem to have any other facet to her personality.

Angela, on the other hand, isn't too happy about going out with "chess club Eric", the guy Bella suggested she ask out for the Spring dance. She's "lukewarm". So, Jessica, as she's all about guys tries to get Angela to say what her type is, since Eric is not.

At the junior's section of the shopping mall, Jessica and Angela are amazed to learn that Bella has never gone to a dance.

The dance was billed as semiformal, and we weren't exactly sure what that
meant. Both Jessica and Angela seemed surprised and almost disbelieving when I told them I'd never been to a dance in Phoenix.

"Didn't you ever go with a boyfriend or something?" Jess asked dubiously as we walked through the front doors of the store.

"Really," I tried to convince her, not wanting to confess my dancing problems. "I've never had a boyfriend or anything close. I didn't go out much."

"Why not?" Jessica demanded.

"No one asked me," I answered honestly.


First of all, this makes Bella into the virginal princess. She's pure and unsullied, thus making her purer for Edward's True Love. This is something that a mother would want for her kids and is being projected into Bella. It's not that I'm saying that Bella should have already had sex, but it would have been okay for her to have some relationship experience. Especially since she's about seventeen in this book. She says that she never had a boyfriend or anything and it seems to indicate it's because she's afraid of her klutziness, but guys would have seen her at times other than the dances, and she hasn't proved to be very klutzy at all. I find it hard to believe that no one asked her, especially the ways she looks and the fact that she doesn't appear to be a complete and total social idiot. I'm sure she had friends back in Phoenix, even if she's too self-centered to mention them.

However, by not having the boyfriend, by not having the previous relationship experience it'll make what she has with Edward, supposedly, that much more special. But for me, how can you know if something is the best in the world, if you've never tried anything else?

To move on, it seems like Tyler is telling everyone that Bella is going to the dance with him.
And this is why Lauren, designated bitch queen, doesn't like Bella. Once this is cleared up, I'm certain that Lauren will come to team Bella.

Bella manages to ask if the Cullen's go camping often. Angela says that they do whenever the weather is nice. This must be their convenient excuse of how come they're not out and about town when it's sunny out. Of course, it still doesn't make sense because what about the summer or you know partly cloudy days? Or if it is cloudy and then all of a sudden, it becomes sunny? And then cloudy... and then.. well, you know... act like weather?

But as this is not my reality, I'm sure this isn't a problem.

Finally, Bella and the other two girls separate, Bella saying she needs to go to find a book store. This is the Convenient Excuse for what happens next.

See, Bella goes off into the wrong part of town. She realizes that she's headed in the wrong place and instead of back tracking decides to go around the block. This allows her to get into trouble when four guys surround her. But before anything can happen, Bella is rescued when she darts out to stop a car. The car's owner does a James Bond maneuver and lets her into the passenger seat.

The car's owner is unsurprisingly, Edward.

Edward angry.

Edward wish to smash.

Edward suddenly is wearing purple pants and has turned green.

Somehow that's a more interesting picture than what he's been described as earlier.

ANYWAY, Bella is in no way surprised that Edward has rescued her. It could, however, be the shock from almost being attacked and then having to distract Edward from being so angry that he almost kills something.

He then takes her to dinner.

No. Really.

Once he gets calmed down enough he magically knows where Angela and Jessica were supposed to meet Bella. And they are conveniently finished eating. Edward mind-whammies them into saying that it's okay and that Edward can take Bella home.

I'm suddenly struck by the lack of cell phones. Jessica and Angela are relieved to see Bella, but they never tried to call her on the phone. No one has mentioned cell phones at all. I mean, calling would have made things so much easier. It would have ruined the story somewhat, but it would have been more realistic.

Still, her friends instead of looking for her apparently ate dinner. Nice friends they are. Eating instead of waiting or calling to make sure she's okay when she doesn't show up on time. They just let Edward whiz her away as if nothing had happened.

More later. This is a good break.

Okay!

Dec. 30th, 2011 04:46 pm
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Twilight Chapter eight, pt 2


So, Edward takes Bella to dinner, claiming that she's in shock. He gets her coke and bread sticks and ravioli. After some small talk and the waitress hitting on Edward. We get down to BUSINESS.

But not like that.

Apparently they don't do that until book four. Early on, but not until book four.

After some "Hypothetical" dancing, of hypothetically, do you think someone could read someone's mind." Edward admits to having followed Bella to Port Angeles. This does not bother her. \~/

"I followed you to Port Angeles," he admitted, speaking in a rush. "I've
never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more
troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because
it's you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many
catastrophes." He paused. I wondered if it should bother me that he was
following me; instead I felt a strange surge of pleasure. He stared,
maybe wondering why my lips were curving into an involuntary smile.


You know what? At this point? Bella deserves everything she gets. Unfortunately she doesn't get everything she deserves. \~/\~/\~/ At this point? Any sensible person would be running for the police or doing something so that the wait staff would be alerted into knowing that "hay there's a stalker here."

You're not supposed to be happy or pleased that someone admits to stalking you like this. This IS something that supposed to bother you. Yes, there is something wrong here, you should be worried. Strange surges of pleasure are BAD in general. When it's coming from your stalker? Even more Bad Bad. When it's coming from your stalker who keeps on saying I'm bad for you, you should keep away from me? Even worse. \~/\~/

Look, even EDWARD is wondering why she's so pleased to learn that he's stalking her. Dude, I know you're not the brightest... smartest vampire to ever be undead, but really, cut her loose already.

Bella wants to know why Edward had rescued her, after all, maybe her number had been up at that time. Personally, I never understood the concept of your "number being up" If you're supposed to die when your number is up, then when you die, your number is up. All other times don't count. Edward, still chugging on that "I'm dangerous, no really" train, tells Bella that her number was up the first time they met. And yet, she's not dead.

We learn that Edward keeps track of people by using his mind powers. ""It's harder than it should be — keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before." " A neat trick actually. Fairly standard, but still, always a neat trick. So, he kept tabs on Jessica because "only you could find trouble in Port Angeles". Yup, that's our speshul snowflake Bella. Going off and doing stupid things because Meyers demands it.

He tells her that once he learned that she had separated from Jessica and Angela, he started to look around for Bella in such a way that it wouldn't look obvious that he was looking for her. Then the Rescue and then him saying that he needs her to stay with him so he doesn't go back and kill those guys who were going to do Bad Things to Bella.

They leave after that.

The entire point of this chapter, I believe, is so that Edward and Bella could have some alone time, talk things, where it can be set up that Bella may confront Edward about being a vampire. However, it's done in a completely over-dramatic, making your heroine look utterly moronic, way. The best way for this would have been for Bella and Edward to have run into each other "accidentally". Bella could take that opportunity to corner Edward and drag him to a Starbucks and quiz him. Thus, not making her two friends seem like uncaring idiots as well. It would have been a more natural way of meeting and Edward wouldn't have to admit that he was a creepy stalker. Even if it doesn't bother Bella. She's very "Okay!"

Edward: I stalk you.
Bella: Okay!
Edward: I'm dangerous and want to kill you.
Bella: Okay!
Edward: I'm an evil vampire.
Bella: Okay!
Edward: I'm really a woman.
Bella: Okay! Can we have teh sexxors now?
Edward: Not until the fourth book.
Bella: *sighs* Okay.

Die Bella. Die.

twu lub

Dec. 30th, 2011 04:44 pm
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Twilight Chapter 9 "Theory"


This is really an Info-Dump chapter. Basically Bella and Edward are playing twenty questions. Though while Edward is supposed to be asking the questions, it's really Bella who does most of them.

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[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Fandom:Twilight
Killers: Alec and Verra
Sue/Stus: Edward and Bella
Author: Stephanie Myers
Note: I actually haven't gotten to the part in the book where Edward sparkles. But that's okay.


Sunlight glistened off Edward's skin like light refracting off of granite. It made his perfection even more unreal. Like Michelangelo's David he was the ultimate in human, in masculine beauty come to life. I could do nothing but stare, my heart just caught in my throat, not knowing what to say. He gave me that half smile of his and I once again realized that he was the one for me.

Suddenly, out of no where, I heard this scream. Edward turned swiftly in its direction and I saw a blur of movement. When it stopped, Edward's head rolled towards my feet. So shocked I couldn't make out a scream.

Standing over the body was a man with a sword. He wore a pleased expression on his face as he looked over the body. All I could see of him was dark hair and pointed ears. He wore jeans and a tee-shirt with combat boots.

A woman stepped out of the woods and started to berate the man, "Alec, you idiot, that was a main character, not a Stu."

"But he sparkled! Vampires don't sparkle!"

"I don't care! He was still a main character."

He threw up his hands. "Fine, fine..." And then he noticed me. We stared at each other, eyes locked. I felt like he could see right into my very soul. That he could see into my soul and was measuring it for worth. "What about her?" he asked his companion.

Shaking her head, she said, "Might as well. If you're going to kill one, you might as well kill the other."

Face lighting up, he pointed a finger at me. A bolt of flame leaped from the finger and headed straight for me and I knew there was nothing I could do to
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Twilight Chapter eleven: Complications


Out of all the chapters and incidents we've seen so far, they've all been rather disturbing. Bella's utter self interest, Edward's creepy stalkiness, everyone's utter fawning over Bella for no good damn reason. But this chapter, this chapter bothers me the most.

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[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Okay, the real chapter twelve here. Last one was really eleven. Apparently I was trying to get to book over that much quicker. Obviously, it didn't work.


Chapter twelve pt 1: Balancing.

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[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Chapter twelve pt. 2

Bella continues to lie to people she calls her friends and family. She calls up Jessica to tell her than she canceled her date with Edward to go to Seattle. Apparently she can't tell them -her, Mike or Charlie- that she changed her plans. They now think that she's going to be staying home instead of going out to Seattle, as opposed to what she's really going to be doing, which is going out somewhere with Edward. So if something happens to her and as she has no cell phone, they won't have any idea on how to find her. It's nice that she cares about their well being and happiness. As opposed to Edward. Or what she thinks will keep Edward just to herself. Actually, now that I think about it, this is what Bella is trying to do. Keep Edward to herself. Or Edward is making her think she wants to keep him all to herself.

After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he'd written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice — to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him.


She hasn't signed a legal document. She's not getting married. Technically she's just going out with a friend. Admittedly this friend has threatened her life on several occasions and is utterly stalking her, but still a friend. Still a lot is off here. She has to keep on repeating to herself that Edward wants her to be safe. -Not that he loves or cares for her - but that he wants her to be safe. And mostly from what he's said, safe from him. Also, you have to wonder why she doesn't think about how come he keeps on telling her to be safe. And it can't be because of her "fatal" flaw of being clumsy. We haven't seen her really do anything stupidly clumsy despite what she says. She's able to cook and not kill herself in the kitchen after all. Remember when I said a few chapters ago that something made me really hate this book? I found something else that makes me hate it even more. If possible. Meyers encourages drug use.

I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I'd never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine — the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else.


If you love someone, it's okay to try and kill yourself. That sounds horribly Shakesperean. But really, she admits that she's doing things that she would normally find morally objectionable just so that she'll look good for the guy. It's for Edward, so it's okay. This sort of reasoning makes it seem like if you were to give Bella a gun and say, "Edward wants you to kill someone," she'd do it. Perhaps I'm being a little over dramatic here, but she's actively admitting she's doing something she finds morally objectionable. It's unnecessary and it's done deliberately. The message Meyers here is sending is that for a guy, it's okay to do something you don't think you should normally. And is this one step away from having sex when you're not ready?

Perhaps.

It could seem like that. Sure, they don't want to have sex until they're ready, but for this guy, well they want to make him happy because he's their one true love, so it'll be okay. And of course nothing bad happens as an after affect of her "gratuitous drug use." Which must mean it's A-Okay! To quote her fully, I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before.

Usually when I take cold medicine I end up all foggy and groggy in the morning. I am not well rested. But! Bella is special and so it's okay for her to use the medicine without any bad side effects. And not only that, but her reaction is not one of guilt for having taken it at all, but a sort of shrugging off, indicating that she would do it again. She's willing to shuck off her morality for Edward. And when Edward finally shows up,
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Chapter twelve pt. 2 (Take two)


Bella continues to lie to people she calls her friends and family. She calls up Jessica to tell her than she canceled her date with Edward to go to Seattle. Apparently she can't tell them -her, Mike or Charlie- that she changed her plans. They now think that she's going to be staying home instead of going out to Seattle, as opposed to what she's really going to be doing, which is going out somewhere with Edward. So if something happens to her and as she has no cell phone, they won't have any idea on how to find her. It's nice that she cares about their well being and happiness.

As opposed to Edward.

Or what she thinks will keep Edward just to herself.

Actually, now that I think about it, this is what Bella is trying to do. Keep Edward to herself. Or Edward is making her think she wants to keep him all to herself.

After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he'd written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice? To cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him.



She hasn't signed a legal document. She's not getting married. Technically she's just going out with a friend. Admittedly this friend has threatened her life on several occasions and is utterly stalking her, but still a friend. Still a lot is off here. She has to keep on repeating to herself that Edward wants her to be safe. -Not that he loves or cares for her - but that he wants her to be safe. And mostly from what he's said, safe from him. Also, you have to wonder why she doesn't think about how come he keeps on telling her to be safe. And it can't be because of her "fatal" flaw of being clumsy. We haven't seen her really do anything stupidly clumsy despite what she says. She's able to cook and not kill herself in the kitchen after all.

Remember when I said a few chapters ago that something made me really hate this book? I found something else that makes me hate it even more. If possible. Meyers encourages drug use.

I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I'd never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine — the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else.


If you love someone, it's okay to try and kill yourself. That sounds horribly Shakesperean. But really, she admits that she's doing things that she would normally find morally objectionable just so that she'll look good for the guy. It's for Edward, so it's okay. This sort of reasoning makes it seem like if you were to give Bella a gun and say, Edward wants you to kill someone," she'd do it.

Perhaps I'm being a little over dramatic here, but she's actively admitting she's doing something she finds morally objectionable. It's unnecessary and it's done deliberately. The message Meyers here is sending is that for a guy, it's okay to do something you don't think you should normally.

And is this one step away from having sex when you're not ready?

Perhaps.

It could seem like that. Sure, they don't want to have sex until they're ready, but for this guy, well they want to make him happy because he's their one true love, so it'll be okay. And of course nothing bad happens as an after affect of her "gratuitous drug use." Which must mean it's A-Okay! To quote her fully, I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before.

Usually when I take cold medicine I end up all foggy and groggy in the morning. I am not well rested. But! Bella is special and so it's okay for her to use the medicine without any bad side effects. And not only that, but her reaction is not one of guilt for having taken it at all, but a sort of shrugging off, indicating that she would do it again. She's willing to shuck off her morality for Edward.

And when Edward finally shows up,

I flew to the door; I had a little trouble with the simple dead bolt, but I yanked the door open at last, and there he was. All the agitation dissolved as soon as I looked at his face, calm taking its place. I breathed a sigh of relief — yesterday's fears seemed very foolish with him here.


My GOD what mood swing changes when Edward shows up! The only sort of relatable behavior to this that I can think of off the top of my head is the relationship that Alex has with his master Orion in my novels. Alex's life is Orion and basically acts like this whenever Orion gives him attention. Orion and Alex have a master/brain washed slave relationship. The way Bella reacts to Edward makes it seem the same way. She has no free will, no wants or desires beyond Edward. The thing is, Alex at least fought to keep his soul. Bella just handed hers over to Edward without him even needing to speak to her.

To up our creepiness level, they match. Edward is wearing the same clothes that Bella chose. Tan sweater, white shirt and jeans. Something tells me that Edward watched her get dressed and then chose similar clothes. Totally chaste and non-creepy stalkery at all vampire he is. Yup.

All Bella can think about is how she wishes she could look as good as he does in the same clothing.


They start driving, Edward letting Bella drive like he promised. This could either be because it's not important to him, or he wants her to believe she has some control in their relationship, or I'm looking into this too much.

Still they drive and Edward wants to know if anyone knows they're together.


"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" he asked.

"Nope."

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" He seemed cheered by the idea.

"No, I told her you canceled on me — which is true."

"No one knows you're with me?" Angrily, now.

"That depends… I assume you told Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Bella," he snapped.

I pretended I didn't hear that.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" he demanded when I ignored him.

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly," I reminded him.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me— if you don't come home?" His voice was still angry, and bitingly sarcastic.

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road.


You know, when your date is pissed at you for not telling people where you're going so that he has an incentive to bring you back, then you have issues. And she's more worried about the problems it might cause Edward than her own safety. This is not a good thing. The best thing is, that Edward makes it seem like he doesn't have an incentive now not to rape her. And he's upset about it. He wants her to give him an incentive. But she doesn't care because Edward is just That Much More Important. And so she has to make sure people don't find out that they're hanging together publicly, even if it costs her her life/safety.


Bella's "flaw" of not being able to walk two feet without falling and/or hurting herself is brought up again when they get to the park where they have to hike to Edward's place of choice. It's through a dark forest wrought with terror of tree roots and branches! Any number of things that could send Bella hurtling to her doom of a face plant! Edward helps her, proving that he's once again taking care of her and that she needs to be taken care of. That she's incapable of doing anything by herself.

They reach a meadow which is lovely, until Bella remembers Edward's beauty. Bella turns to him and beckons for Edward to come out into the sunshine.

ANND Cliffhanger.

An actually decent one. GASP

First Date

Dec. 30th, 2011 04:27 pm
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
Chapter Thirteen: Confessions.


While Meyers had a great cliffhanger last chapter. She utterly failed in resolving it. Instead of seeing Bella's impressions of what Edward looks like when he first steps out, we skip ahead to later.

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though
I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint
flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands
of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in
the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his
scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut,
though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some
unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.



"Couldn't get used to it" indicates that she's been looking at him for a bit now. We don't get to see her first impression of what he looks like. What happens when he steps out into the sunlight? How does this make her feel to see how very inhuman he is? We don't even see how she feels in this description. It's a very weird and disjointed image and lavender lips reminds me of C*l*br*n not a happy image. And lavender isn't very attractive in the first place, reminding me of hypothermia. He looks like something that should go in a museum. Not at all desirable. He reads as distant and cold. Hard - and not in a good way. At least, not comforting.

She waxes on about how sparkly Edward is. For several paragraphs.

Hesitantly, always afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a
mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger
and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay within my
reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as
stone. When I looked up again, his eyes were open, watching me.
Butterscotch today, lighter, warmer after hunting. His quick smile turned
up the corners of his flawless lips.


I inched closer, stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of
his forearm with my fingertips. I saw that my fingers trembled, and knew
it wouldn't escape his notice.


I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm, followed
the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow. With my
other hand, I reached to turn his hand over. Realizing what I wished, he
flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting
movements of his. It startled me; my fingers froze on his arm for a brief
second.



And then they make out and have hawt sexors.

Well, no not really. But the intensity of emotion that they put in to just touching each other is like the intensity you put in during a prelude to sex between two people who are about to do it for the first time with each other.

It ends with the weirdest description of someone about to kiss that I've ever seen:

But I couldn't answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling.


Um... Edward smells tasty? I think? You shouldn't use food metaphors when describing sexual moments. Even a kiss counts as a sexual moment. Not that it goes anywhere. Edward flees.

The amount of time Edward spends running away from girls makes me start to wonder about his preferences. He kinda also acts like girls have cooties. If he doesn't want to be kissed or go that far, he shouldn't have to run away, but instead just tell her to stop.

Edward then shows off to Bella on how predator like he is, by running around and destroying wood. Bella says that she is frightened. "I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been." But we don't get any physical description of how she feels frightened. Beyond her face being ashen.

THEN Edward tells her not to be afraid, that he's not going to hurt her after twelve previous chapters of telling her that he's dangerous and could hurt her. *Headdesk* Nice contradictory messages here, yah?

When asked why she's afraid of him. She says she's afraid of wanting to be around him to much. Buh? To make things even more confusing Edward goes back to saying she should be afraid of being around him to much.

I'm getting whiplash.

He continues do whiplash more by saying he should leave because she wants to be near him but he won't because he doesn't want to and she should remember to be scared of him because he could eat her, even if he won't.

Do you get that? I don't.

Edward continues by saying that Bella's smell is like a heroin junkie's kind of heroin, Edward being the junkie. He talks about how it took everything he had not not jump her and eat her right then when he first met her. It's very sexual how he describes her smell and what it does to him. Denying his thirst is denying his sexuality. He tells her how he wanted to get her alone with him so that he could have his way with her. How he wanted to kill the entire class so that he could have her.

This doesn't bother her at all. It intrigues her. She's relieved to finally know why he acted the way he did, even if common sense told her that she should be terrified. She really doesn't listen to that voice.

I'd like to point out that we're about half way through the book and once again nothing has happened.

Edward admits that Bella is the most important thing to him ever. Not that he loves her though. That she's a thing that he finds important. Not the most important person. But a thing. But then he does admit that he loves her. Which I think is silly, mostly because they've barely gotten to know each other. I doubt Bella even knows what sort of books Edward likes to read. Or really anything about him beyond he's shiny and pretty.

There's an infodump about why Edward ran away from Bella and went to Alaska. He couldn't bear the scent of her so he ran away and then came back because he felt like he could bear the scent of her. MmmHmmm...

They do touching that's exceptionally sexual, but not. They do this a lot. It's kinda annoying. It's supposed to be sexual tension, but I just want to get it over with so that there can be plot. Or at least movement towards something. The constant talk of danger and snuggling is boring. Especially since we've been doing it for ten pages now. Okay, maybe not ten pages, but it feels like it.

FINALLY they leave the meadow. Edward takes Bella back to the truck on his back. Carrying her like a child. This happens to Bella a lot, as previously notes. It takes them two paragraphs to get back to the truck with absolutely no description.

There's more talk and pseudo cuddling as Edward tries to get Bella to stop being motion sick. And finally they kiss.

Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.


Um. Yeeeaaaaaah. Hokay. I'm seeing her blood breaking through her lips and making a big mess. Not a pretty picture. I'm sure Meyers was trying for hot blooded, but it just didn't work. Edward manages not to eat her and he's rather happy about it. He has stronger will power than he thought.

As they're about to leave (finally) he demands that he should be the one who drives because she's obviously not capable. At this point since Bella is very wobbly and motion sick, it's sort of a reasonable excuse. Still they drive off and I suppose in a way begin their relationship as a "couple".
[identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
So, I ran Laruna through the Mary Sue Litmus test She got an eight.

Bella got a Sixty Six. Mind you half of this was guessing because I'm not Meyers. Fifty Plus is Kill It Dead.

Edward got a Seventy Four.


Chapter Fourteen: Mind Over Matter

So, Edward is driving the two of them back. Bella is amazed at his PERFECT driving abilities. He doesn't even need to look at the road while he drives. Instead he holds her hand and stares at her a lot. He likes oldies music from the fifties, better than the sixties or seventies. Eighties were good though. I'm not too sure about that one, but he's allowed to have his opinion. There's nothing wrong with that.

Bella then asks how old he is. We get a loooovely piece of purple prose.

He sighed, and then looked into my eyes, seeming to forget the road completely for a time. Whatever he saw there must have encouraged him. He looked into the sun — the light of the setting orb glittered off his skin in ruby-tinged sparkles — and spoke.


The setting ORB. Who refers to the sun as an orb? It makes me think of a giant marble in the sky. And the fact that it glistens off his skin making it ruby colored makes me think of Dorthy's ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz. So, we have a giant flaming marble glittering on a human ruby slipper.

I'm not so sure that works.

Edward relates to us his Story Of Woe. He was born in Chicago in 1901 and dying of the Spanish Influenza in 1918. Carlisle found him and changed him into a vampire because he was an orphan. He doesn't tell us how it happened except that it hurt. Then Carlisle found his wife Esme. They found Rosalie who was supposed to be fore Edward, but he only loves her like a sister. Which is okay because she found Emmett who nearly got eaten by a bear. She was afraid she couldn't turn Emmett into a vampire herself so she ran a hundred miles back to Carlisle, the thing that kept her going? Something in Emmett's face. *sighs* Sometimes they live as a married couple, other times not and they have a wedding again every so often. It's Twu Lub.

Then there's Alice and Jasper who are Speshul. Alice was created as a vampire and woke up alone but didn't turn into a savage because she could see the future and knew that she would meet up with the Cullens.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."


Um... I'm again, not really sure how that works, but okay. Also her ability is going to be useful. You just know it is. After all because she can tell when a supernatural threat is coming. This is an unsubtle bit of foreshadowing.

We learn that there aren't that many vampires and the reasons for the only can come out at night myth is probably because of their sparkliness. They live in the Olympic Peninsula because it's one of the sunless places in the world. I'm thinking this miiiight be one of those weather issues going on. STILL I honestly don't see why they can't live in a city where people are likely not to notice them. There are plenty of cities where they don't get much sun and they're less likely to get noticed. Like... St. Petersburg... or I dunno. Big Cities. And there's also MAKE UP to cover up the sparkles, I'm sure.

Here's a fun line, "It was easier to say in the darkness, knowing as I spoke how my voice would betray me, my hopeless addiction to him." You know, this isn't a good thing, Bella. No addiction is hopeless, but you're just saying you don't want to try and get away from him. She wants to be with him. Even though he's threatened her life and said she shouldn't be around him.

Of course, it gets worse. Bella discovers that Edward's been sneaking into her house. When Bella learns this:

"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.

He spied on you. When you were sleeping. Who knows what the hell he could have done to you. This is not something you should be flattered about. This is something that you should be screaming frightened about.

Instead she's more worried that he heard her talking in her sleep. Not sneaking into her bedroom and watching her because he finds her interesting, but hearing her talk in her sleep. This is not good and normal behavior. This is stupid and dangerous behavior. It's like asking the serial killer over for tea and complaining that he might see your dirty laundry.

Flattering is not the proper mindset. In fact she's angry with him because he hears her talk in her sleep and not because he likes watching her sleep. She stops getting upset though, when her father comes home.

When Edward asks if her dad should know he's here, she says no. So he vanishes, up into her room.

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